My wife went into the fertility clinic and the doctor told me;
“Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant”.
Now we have just a few questions for your wife…
Have you any history of past suicides?
No…
Have you ever refused an autopsy?
Umm no…
Do you have occasional infrequent constant headaches?
Sometimes.
Constipation problems?
Most of my life until I got a divorce.
Any rigors or shaking chills at night?
No but but my husband said I was hot in bed last night.
Is this a caesarian scar?
No that was exploratory for a bowel resection
but I became a stock broker instead.
Did you eat today?
Waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
I was feeling pretty good until I plane ran out of gas and crashed.
OK then. We already examined your husband.
Upon a rectal examination we found
his thyroid was normal sized.
His penis was found, fortunately, to be circus sized.
He has seemed to be depressed since 1995 when he first began to see me.
The lab shows that he has an abnormal lover function.
Your pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Also it says here you left your white blood cells at another hospital…
She looked alert and unresponsive,
her eyes were moist and dry,
then she fainted, her eyes rolling around the room.
I was numb from my toes down.
We picked them up and put them back.
She was OK but she had banged her knee.
On the second day the knee was better
and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
She was scheduled for a knee replacement.
Two months later we were surprised to see
a bouncing baby sonogram
bill.
“Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant”.
Now we have just a few questions for your wife…
Have you any history of past suicides?
No…
Have you ever refused an autopsy?
Umm no…
Do you have occasional infrequent constant headaches?
Sometimes.
Constipation problems?
Most of my life until I got a divorce.
Any rigors or shaking chills at night?
No but but my husband said I was hot in bed last night.
Is this a caesarian scar?
No that was exploratory for a bowel resection
but I became a stock broker instead.
Did you eat today?
Waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
I was feeling pretty good until I plane ran out of gas and crashed.
OK then. We already examined your husband.
Upon a rectal examination we found
his thyroid was normal sized.
His penis was found, fortunately, to be circus sized.
He has seemed to be depressed since 1995 when he first began to see me.
The lab shows that he has an abnormal lover function.
Your pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Also it says here you left your white blood cells at another hospital…
She looked alert and unresponsive,
her eyes were moist and dry,
then she fainted, her eyes rolling around the room.
I was numb from my toes down.
We picked them up and put them back.
She was OK but she had banged her knee.
On the second day the knee was better
and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
She was scheduled for a knee replacement.
Two months later we were surprised to see
a bouncing baby sonogram
bill.