When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie?
My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people's birthdays. She says she doesn't think people would like margarine as a present.
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
Q: What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
A: "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"
"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles."
Q: Did you hear about the flag's birthday?
A: It was a flappy one!
Q: Did you hear about the tree's birthday?
A: It was a sappy one!
Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: "Hey, what's eating you?"
Q: Did you hear about the dancer's birthday?
A: It was a tappy one!
"I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."
"How do you know?" ?
"You're still here!"
Q: Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
A: He wanted to have a birthday potty!
Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
A: Musical Hares.
Q: What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!
"Did you go shopping for my birthday present?"
Yeah, and I found the perfect thing."
"What thing is that?"
"Nothing!"
"My birthday's coming"
Do you know what I need?"
"Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"
