I got this from the Motley Fool, an investment site at www.fool.com 
Top Five Signs Your Broker Might Be an Alien
How can you tell if your broker is from another planet? Here are the top five signs he might be an alien...
5) Keeps pitching "a great little Zyntonium mining company on Altaric 6."
4) Blames his lousy stock picks on "this darn gravity you guys have."
3) Refers to his firm as "The Collective."
2) "Real-time quotes" access requires small installation into the back of your neck.
And the number one sign your broker might be an alien...
1) Those pesky after-hours abductions.
Top Five Signs Your Broker Might Be an Alien
How can you tell if your broker is from another planet? Here are the top five signs he might be an alien...
5) Keeps pitching "a great little Zyntonium mining company on Altaric 6."
4) Blames his lousy stock picks on "this darn gravity you guys have."
3) Refers to his firm as "The Collective."
2) "Real-time quotes" access requires small installation into the back of your neck.
And the number one sign your broker might be an alien...
1) Those pesky after-hours abductions.