is jesus a zombie?

M

mars13

give me liberty
Registered Senior Member
a dead guy who cames back to life and walks around?

sounds like a zombie to me.

christians worship a hippy bum communist zombie.

they are all :m:
 
Actually. He said 'a dead guy who walks around' and the actual definition after I had looked it up is actually 'a dead body that is brought back to life by a super natural force'. So in that case Jesus must have been a 'zombie' but if you can catergorize that what is the ascension?
 
Well the ascension is when he went up to heaven, that was after being a zombie, i don't see the problem unless you are a george a romero fan where(in the films) you are dead and may have already left your body BEFORE you are a zombie, the ascension is the other way round.
 
i don't know, but 'jumping zombie jesus' is perhaps the most fun expletive to use, ever.
 
When Jesus said that the dead will rise from the graves, he meant the people who are spiritually dead. A person whose body is living but he is not enjoying life.
 
c7ityi_ said:
When Jesus said that the dead will rise from the graves, he meant the people who are spiritually dead. A person whose body is living but he is not enjoying life.
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Literal means metaphorical when it comes to bible reading unless the literal describes it or suits it best. e.g. Jesus wasn't spiritually dead but really most sincerely dead, so he really did rise from it. See what I mean.
 
Does it say in the Bible whether Jesus' body came back to life before it rose to heaven? Maybe His dead body ascended and then came back to life once it was in heaven, which may or may not make a difference.
 
F*** guys! you dont understand nothing! Jesus is not a zombie, but a 20 level Cleric! Play dungeons and dragons and learn :D

Only 20 level clerics can perform "miracles" and "ressurections"! btw, he uses some boots of levitation (he can cross waters, by walking on it) and i think he must have the the "leadership" feat.

:D
 
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
Christianity is a zombie-worshiping doomsday-cult. Simple. As. Freakin'. That.
 
The guy died and then had his corpse reanimated... complete with gashes and holes in him. If that doesn't meet the qualifications for zombieness, I don't know what would.

As for the whole doomsday-cult thing, you are probably right there. I even blame their conversion to christianity for the fall of the roman empire. Normally, the Romans could take internal collapse (as they had many times before) and smile. In a hundred years or so, they rebuild their civilization back to its previous greatness and everybody is happy. Once christianity came around though, they felt that the return of the lord was right around the corner. Everybody stopped trying to keep civilization running and just praised god a whole lot. A couple of popes even told everyone to stop having children.

What do you get? 1500 years of darkness and ignorance and bloodshed. The past three thousand years of humanity's accomplishments were forgotten in generations and we had to work from scratch.
 
kazbadan said:
F*** guys! you dont understand nothing! Jesus is not a zombie, but a 20 level Cleric! Play dungeons and dragons and learn :D

Only 20 level clerics can perform "miracles" and "ressurections"! btw, he uses some boots of levitation (he can cross waters, by walking on it) and i think he must have the the "leadership" feat.

:D
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Do you think that when the bible was writen they used that game for inspiration?
 
kazbadan said:
F*** guys! you dont understand nothing! Jesus is not a zombie, but a 20 level Cleric! Play dungeons and dragons and learn :D

Only 20 level clerics can perform "miracles" and "ressurections"! btw, he uses some boots of levitation (he can cross waters, by walking on it) and i think he must have the the "leadership" feat.

:D
Click to expand...

Yeah! after performing all those miracles hes had to recharge his mana didn't he? thats why we haven't heard from him for a long, long time...
 
mars13 said:
a dead guy who cames back to life and walks around?

sounds like a zombie to me.

christians worship a hippy bum communist zombie.

they are all :m:
Click to expand...


well what do you belive?
 
Would being bitten by a zombie have similar results to eating one?
"Take, eat, this is my flesh... drink.. blood"?
So, now we have a 'zombie worshipping doomsday cult of cannibals who don't bite you but seduce you into eating their lead zombie who miraculously is never completely consumed? Sounds worthy of religion and belief to me! Or a great Romero movie. *__-
 
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well it is about the most logical thing in the bible, there is some evidence of zombies
 
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