What if the partner expects fidelity from you, while you don't. We don't usually make precise rules when you start a relationship. So if you expect fidelity from another person when she doesn't, would it still be considered cheating? It would from her point of view.
Infidelity- Why Women/Men Cheat
- Thread starter HarmonyStar
- Start date
Ndrs, I think you've stated some valid points there... i.e.
"because their ego is afraid their partner might be cheating them, therefore they ensure that they are not at the bottom of the power equation"
Yes I agree with that!
The answer here is quite simple... make precise rules. Bring it up early, and make sure your partner knows your view of the situation.
If people would just accept those things that are intrinsically human, and stop letting society decide everything for them -- people would probably all have a few swinging experiences, enjoy them, and stop all the lying and cheating crap.
It's human nature to want to explore sexually. The only reason it's bad is because society tells us so. This is not a productive state of affairs, as shown by the rampant divorce rate.
All you people who support the idea that those who cheat are disgusting and wrong and weak and so on are just cattle. Society has given you instructions that counter your own natural instincts, and you're siding with society. Even worse, somehow you think you're gaining something by fettering yourself. Newsflash: you're not. You'll be divorced in four years just like most everyone else.
- Warren
It's human nature to want to explore sexually. The only reason it's bad is because society tells us so. This is not a productive state of affairs, as shown by the rampant divorce rate.
All you people who support the idea that those who cheat are disgusting and wrong and weak and so on are just cattle. Society has given you instructions that counter your own natural instincts, and you're siding with society. Even worse, somehow you think you're gaining something by fettering yourself. Newsflash: you're not. You'll be divorced in four years just like most everyone else.
- Warren
I think most are unhappy with their current partner but are afraid to leave for fear of being alone. Well, unless their hoez
Because they are pigs and dont give a shit
I think its "cooler" for men to cheat. Bragging to their homiez that they have lots of hoez. (I know a few guys that do that) That or the same reason for #1.Not to sound like a hoe but yes I did. I was way unsatisfied in my life, was afraid to leave, but found comfort in someone elses arms. It was nice at first but ended up awful. Cheating always ends up awful.
No. I would never cheat on my man again. Its too painful for everyone involved.
And Welcome to Sciforums Harmony
pumpkinsaren'torange
Registered Senior Member
when i am with a man that i truly love, i don't cheat. believe it or not..
I still cannot understand what garden implements have to do with sex.
pumpkinsaren'torange
Registered Senior Member
:bugeye: plenty!!
plenty!!Xev
If people get together and form a pair, say the big "i love you" words and all that, get married, whatever, then they have chosen a path. Either they have the integrity to stick with their choices, or they are weak. it has nothing to do with society and social expectations; it has only to do with one's own strength of character. If you say you're going to do something, do it; if you don't, then don't bother saying it in the first place.
I don't mind people saying from the start "This is only temporary, let's just shag our brains out until we get sick of each other", but that is different to cheating from a stable relationship in which one has made an actual committment.
I know it is difficult for some people to understand, but there is this thing called integrity. Strength of character. The value of your word. The value of your promise to another person. It has absolutely nothing to do with the external world; "society" is merely the setting in which an entirely internal matter is played out. It is about your character, your integrity, your ability to live according to your word.
If people get together and form a pair, say the big "i love you" words and all that, get married, whatever, then they have chosen a path. Either they have the integrity to stick with their choices, or they are weak. it has nothing to do with society and social expectations; it has only to do with one's own strength of character. If you say you're going to do something, do it; if you don't, then don't bother saying it in the first place.
I don't mind people saying from the start "This is only temporary, let's just shag our brains out until we get sick of each other", but that is different to cheating from a stable relationship in which one has made an actual committment.
I know it is difficult for some people to understand, but there is this thing called integrity. Strength of character. The value of your word. The value of your promise to another person. It has absolutely nothing to do with the external world; "society" is merely the setting in which an entirely internal matter is played out. It is about your character, your integrity, your ability to live according to your word.
I think there are no excuses to cheating on the partner except for lack of self control.
then it wouldnt be cheating then would it!
I think we can safely ignore adam saying "your assumptions are silly". He's quite clearly incapable of understanding any defintion of a relationship other than his own. It's becoming like arguing with a christian about the proof of god... his reply amounts to nothing more than "this is how it is", with no evidence, no backup, nothing beyond his own opinion.
1) Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2) The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3) The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.
I assume you refer to definition 1). If so, I would like you to consider that the "strict moral or ethical code" itself is not mentioned in the definition. You have to supply your own "strict moral or ethical code."
As I stated, you believe the only way to define absolute integrity is to use your own "strict moral or ethical code." In doing so, you provide another example of your long-held belief that your opinions are somehow more valuable than the opinions of others.
Please don't act like you don't understand me, or that I don't understand you.
- Warren
Chroot
Yes, that was sort of my point about it all being internal. We each rceate our own ethical or moral code. Having integrity is sticking to that. Most people don't even get to the point of developing one, let alone sticking to it.
Spelling fixies.
Yes, that was sort of my point about it all being internal. We each rceate our own ethical or moral code. Having integrity is sticking to that. Most people don't even get to the point of developing one, let alone sticking to it.
Spelling fixies.
Last edited:
Re: Chroot
The assumption (To use your favourite word) you're making here, Adam, is that an "ethical or moral code" must include fidelity. your last sentence indicates a belief on your part that if a person's morals differ to what you have stated as being your opinion, then they have not developed a moral code at all. This is sheer stupidity.
The assumption (To use your favourite word) you're making here, Adam, is that an "ethical or moral code" must include fidelity. your last sentence indicates a belief on your part that if a person's morals differ to what you have stated as being your opinion, then they have not developed a moral code at all. This is sheer stupidity.