Infidelity- Why Women/Men Cheat

H

HarmonyStar

Harmony the Star
Registered Senior Member
The reasons women cheat vary considerably. Some get involved in extramarital affairs because they are lonely, others because they want to escape the monotony of marriage. Yet others are motivated to cheat due to revenge after they find lipstick or other tell-tale signs of their husbands' infidelity. Then there are the selfish, character-flawed women who marry good men who love and take care of them but continue to consort with other men for sexual excitement or for the money and other material goods the men can provide.

Sex researchers have said that men sometimes get involved in affairs out of fear of getting too close to their wives or simply succumbing to temptation or their egos. But when it is the wife who strays, it often is due to hunger for emotional intimacy rather than a wish to avoid it.

My questions are:
(1) Why do you think women cheat?
(2) Why do you think men cheat?
(3) Have you cheated on a partner? If yes, why?
(4) Are you a "serial cheater"?

I'm interested to read your thoughts on this issue

~HarmonyStar~
 
It's biological. We're programmed to breed as much as possible. Marriage and relationships are social ideas that are ok, but we can't forget where we came from.

Men cheat so that they can impregnate as many women as possible and their genes can live on.

Women cheat to get better partners, albeit they will not have more children because of it.

A better question might be why don't people cheat?
 
(1) Why do you think women cheat?
They are not getting what they need at home. “Sometimes the most obvious is the truth”

(2) Why do you think men cheat?
Same as number one. :bugeye:

(3) Have you cheated on a partner? If yes, why?
No, it is not like I have not had chances. It is more that I did not feel the need to risk what I have. (Fear)

(4) Are you a "serial cheater"?
Only in my dreams, but that’s another thread. lol
 
I can anticipate Xev's answer...."Scruples against cheating on your sexual partner is one of the mental shackles imposed by human society we must break out of it blah blah blah" :D
 
Originally posted by HarmonyStar

My questions are:
(1) Why do you think women cheat?
(2) Why do you think men cheat?
(3) Have you cheated on a partner? If yes, why?
(4) Are you a "serial cheater"?
Click to expand...

Here's what I think:
1) Women cheat because they are not fulfilled by their significant other, or they just stumbled onto a compromising situation at a bad point in a relationship and just inadvertantly became "easy".
2) Men cheat because they like to play, they like sex and don't get enough from their partner, they are testing the waters, or they stop thinking with the head above thier shoulders.
1.5&2.5) Men and women probably cheat for the same reasons and I have just listed a few reasons that easily could fit into both Q: 1&2.
3) Yes. Once. I did it as a pompus guy thing to get the girl my buddy was after. When I did, I felt like shit, because I had hurt my gf and my good friend. Plus, I am too honest for my own good; I told her the next day because I was so guilty.
4) Never again...
 
Originally posted by notPresidentAndrew
It's biological. We're programmed to breed as much as possible. Marriage and relationships are social ideas that are ok, but we can't forget where we came from.

Men cheat so that they can impregnate as many women as possible and their genes can live on.

Women cheat to get better partners, albeit they will not have more children because of it.

A better question might be why don't people cheat?
Click to expand...

Hmm. Yes, there is that biological reason. But as we strive to be more than animals, can't we use what we think to be our superior intellect to overcome one our most basic desires for the betterment (if that's a word) of our species?
 
HarmonyStar

(1) Why do you think women cheat?
Weakness. Regardlses of the excuse, they are weak. They pick a course and wander off it. If they had any strength at all, they would stick to their chosen path. As you said, there are many reasons or excuses, but it boils down to weakness.

(2) Why do you think men cheat?
See above.

(3) Have you cheated on a partner? If yes, why?
Never have, never will.

(4) Are you a "serial cheater"?
See above.
 
people cheat because they are selfish and dont give a dam about anyone other than themselves

never cheated and never will but have been cheated ON:(
 
Adam:

Who says they pick a course?

I can anticipate Xev's answer...."Scruples against cheating on your sexual partner is one of the mental shackles imposed by human society we must break out of it blah blah blah"
Click to expand...

Nope.

People cheat because it's human nature.
 
Originally posted by Adam
(1) Why do you think women cheat?
Weakness. Regardlses of the excuse, they are weak. They pick a course and wander off it. If they had any strength at all, they would stick to their chosen path. As you said, there are many reasons or excuses, but it boils down to weakness.

Pick a course and wander off it? That's an interesting assumption Adam. Considering you're always having a go at people who do such things, I just thought I'd point it out. How exactly does it boil down to weakness? Do you assume anyone who doesn't agree with you is weak?

(3) Have you cheated on a partner? If yes, why?
Never have, never will.

Let's see, since we're in the business of assuming things here, I'd say it's simply because you don't have the energy to move from your little comfort zone. Or the guts to take a risk. How'm I doing so far slaveboy?
Click to expand...
 
Adam:
In contrary, fidelity is a weakness.

---
Most of the time, I noticed people develop crappy unbased relationships. They go for 2,3,4..rd best. When they are there, they don't want to change because of security they are getting.
I could blame this on social pressure (pressure to get laid). Although most people are social animals, so they have lots of possible partners to choose from (most social animals are similar in interests/etc). If you have lots of partners to choose from, sooner or later you will find someone whom you like more for the moment.
An individual is a different matter. If she/he finds a partner, he will not as easily find another one suitable. Therefore cheating is very difficult.But then who said relationship are supposed to last?
Of course there is a power factor as well. By cheating on a partner, you are playing him (thus you are more powerful). Sometimes people cheat just because their ego is afraid their partner might be cheating them, therefore they ensure that they are not at the bottom of the power equation.
 
Ah, yes, just to add to the point. If your relationship is so weak, you can say it barely exists. Will it be considered cheating?
In other words, cheating only exists if you are in relationship with another person. Sometimes, the relationship is so dead, it shouldn't be considered one. People often just don't realize it.
 
if you are "going out" and you expect fedility from you partner then its cheating if you do it

if you both dont care then its not
 
I'm kinda partial to Woody Harrelson's thoughts on the matter myself.. "Let's just hang out together until we get bored". Now that's a relationship.

I do agree with Adam on one thing though.. I have never cheated, and I never will. The reason for that is that I have never been in a relationship beyond my teens where I haven't made it quite clear that I was not monogamous. Sometimes I'm with one person exclusively. This is not because I "had" to, it's because I chose to be, or I didn't find anyone else worth it at the time. It's never lasted very long though.

"Cheating" only applies to those who seek to impose constraints on their partners. Or own them.

originally posted by Qiothus II
Hmm. Yes, there is that biological reason. But as we strive to be more than animals, can't we use what we think to be our superior intellect to overcome one our most basic desires for the betterment (if that's a word) of our species?
Click to expand...

Yes, I'm quite sure we could. I have a question for you though. Why? Can you give me one logical reason why monogamy is a good thing? Why would it be for the "betterment of the species"?
 
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