Why Churches Are Exempted From Taxation
A Weird List Of The "Useful Public Services"
Performed By The Temples Of Superstition
PRESBYTERIAN -- Exempted from taxation for "useful public service" of teaching the doctrine that God in the mystic beginning of things settled the destination of each human being, scheduling some of them inevitably to heaven and most of them unescapably to hell.
METHODIST -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that all men are sinners, that Jesus Christ died to Save from sin all men who believe in the Said Christ, that such believers are "made new creatures in Jesus Christ" and thus, according to the rule that things which mean nothing are equal to anything else, are "adopted as the children of God."
BAPTIST -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that baptism by means of total ducking is the only device by which men can keep out of hell.
CAMPBELLITE (Disciples of Christ) -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that "while both Old and New Testaments are equally inspired, both are not equally binding upon Christians;" that "the old was God's will with reference to the Jews, the New is his will with reference to Christians."
JEWISH -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that the Old Testament is the only part of the Bible that is the authentic word of God, that the true Christ is yet to come, and that Jews alone are "the chosen people" of God.
CATHOLIC -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that priests can grant confession and absolution of sins, that the sacramental wine and wafers are magically turned into the blood and flesh of Christ, and that the Pope is the supreme official representative of God.
LUTHERAN -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that the miraculous Christ of the New Testament explains all the problems of man -- "creation, man, faith, the Word of God, the sacraments, prayer, the Church, the law and the gospel, sin and grace."
EPISCOPAL -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that the Nicene Creed, formulated by the early Christian fanatics centuries before the modern age of science and culture, is "the sufficient statement of the Christian faith" and an explanation of the sacred mystery of mystical hocus-pocus; and that great "spiritual" value flows in a sly and imperceptible manner from "the two sacraments -- baptism and the supper of the Lord -- ministered with unfailing use of Christ's words of institution and of the elements ordained by Him. ..."
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE -- Exempted from taxation for the "useful public service" of teaching that the material world is an illusion, that mind (completely divorced from reality) is the only reality, and that all minds are in mortal error that do not agree with the extravagant effusions from the mind of old "Mother" Eddy.
The other churches -- countless, disputatious, futile and intellectually obscure -- perform "public services" that are equally "useful." intelligent Men and women should ask themselves whether the dissemination of these foolish rags and tags of ancient theology is entitled to the special sanction, favoritism and amazing tax exemption granted by the state.