Giambatista,
O.K. here's a post I have long been procrastinating but I should have done long ago. Let's see how well I have judged your situation. Please correct me whereever I'm wrong.
There are two reasons why I think you are 'straight' as far as nature is concerned. Of course by now you know that straight does not in the least mean heterosexual (vis-a-vis nature):
- You related vehemently with many of my key assertions, especially about masculinity and its pressures. Gay men are likely to feel the persecution by so-called 'masculine' men, but are not likely to feel the psychological pressures on themselves, as they conveniently distance themselves from the (masculine gendered) man's identity. Thus a truly gay man is not likely to relate with these issues.
- You have not mentioned that you have found a support system in the gay community which is very strong in the U.S.
A true homosexual person would usually be able to build a strong network of support system within this community, and thus escape the terrible isolation, victimisation and mental stress caused to straight men. (though by know means is the life easy for 'homosexual' men).
So, if you agree with the above analysis, we will call you a 'straight', at least for the sake of this analysis. A straight man is a naturally masculine man who is instinctively inclined to bond sexually with men --- whether or not he has a sexual interest in women.
You do have some very strong ideas/ concepts that is typical of a heterosexual society (including that of homosexuals) but I concur they are because of social factors --- including social conditioning.
There are two points I've noted with interest:
a). Your being genderless --- i.e. neither feeling particularly masculine or feminine.
b). Your disinterest in sports.
Here's my analysis of both the situations as per my theories. Please tell me how relevant you find them.
a). Your being genderless --- i.e. neither feeling particularly masculine or feminine:
Straight men are born with a natural masculinity which is originally in an undeveloped unformed form. This needs to be cultivated and developed as the person becomes an adult in order to become a fully developed masculinity in all its natural glory. (incidentally natural femininity is also likewise in an undeveloped form which needs to be developed!).
Adolescence is the natural time to develop this natural masculinity and the only way to do it is by bonding with other straight boys.
What happened in your case (and countless other men in your place) is that you were excluded psychologically and socially from your natural group --- of masculine/ straight men by artificially making heterosexuality a basic requirement. Most men in your place would fake or exaggerate their sexual attraction for women and hide/ suppress their sexual interest in men. After all this is what most straight men do when faced with a heterosexual society.
You also psychologically excluded yourself from other straight men, inspite of your natural affinity, because you were misinformed). Since you were left out from the straight group, you never got a chance to develop your masculinity. (That the others could only develop negative masculinity is a different matter altogether!). Your masculinity remains underdeveloped, suppressed and hidden within you.
If you had enough natural femininity things would have been perfect for you. The heterosexual society has designated a space for feminine gendered males who like males. It fits their heterosexual agenda. You would have gladly fitted in the gay community, would have cultivated and developed your natural femininity (though a lot of it would be negative and exaggerated!) and inspite of the social hostility would have found your people --- people with whom you could relate as a gender.
But since you did not have the requisite natural femininity (we all have some amounts of masculinity and femininity whether we are masculine gendered or feminine gendered!), you ended up being neither masculine nor feminine......
O.K. here's a post I have long been procrastinating but I should have done long ago. Let's see how well I have judged your situation. Please correct me whereever I'm wrong.
There are two reasons why I think you are 'straight' as far as nature is concerned. Of course by now you know that straight does not in the least mean heterosexual (vis-a-vis nature):
- You related vehemently with many of my key assertions, especially about masculinity and its pressures. Gay men are likely to feel the persecution by so-called 'masculine' men, but are not likely to feel the psychological pressures on themselves, as they conveniently distance themselves from the (masculine gendered) man's identity. Thus a truly gay man is not likely to relate with these issues.
- You have not mentioned that you have found a support system in the gay community which is very strong in the U.S.
A true homosexual person would usually be able to build a strong network of support system within this community, and thus escape the terrible isolation, victimisation and mental stress caused to straight men. (though by know means is the life easy for 'homosexual' men).
So, if you agree with the above analysis, we will call you a 'straight', at least for the sake of this analysis. A straight man is a naturally masculine man who is instinctively inclined to bond sexually with men --- whether or not he has a sexual interest in women.
You do have some very strong ideas/ concepts that is typical of a heterosexual society (including that of homosexuals) but I concur they are because of social factors --- including social conditioning.
There are two points I've noted with interest:
a). Your being genderless --- i.e. neither feeling particularly masculine or feminine.
b). Your disinterest in sports.
Here's my analysis of both the situations as per my theories. Please tell me how relevant you find them.
a). Your being genderless --- i.e. neither feeling particularly masculine or feminine:
Straight men are born with a natural masculinity which is originally in an undeveloped unformed form. This needs to be cultivated and developed as the person becomes an adult in order to become a fully developed masculinity in all its natural glory. (incidentally natural femininity is also likewise in an undeveloped form which needs to be developed!).
Adolescence is the natural time to develop this natural masculinity and the only way to do it is by bonding with other straight boys.
What happened in your case (and countless other men in your place) is that you were excluded psychologically and socially from your natural group --- of masculine/ straight men by artificially making heterosexuality a basic requirement. Most men in your place would fake or exaggerate their sexual attraction for women and hide/ suppress their sexual interest in men. After all this is what most straight men do when faced with a heterosexual society.
You also psychologically excluded yourself from other straight men, inspite of your natural affinity, because you were misinformed). Since you were left out from the straight group, you never got a chance to develop your masculinity. (That the others could only develop negative masculinity is a different matter altogether!). Your masculinity remains underdeveloped, suppressed and hidden within you.
If you had enough natural femininity things would have been perfect for you. The heterosexual society has designated a space for feminine gendered males who like males. It fits their heterosexual agenda. You would have gladly fitted in the gay community, would have cultivated and developed your natural femininity (though a lot of it would be negative and exaggerated!) and inspite of the social hostility would have found your people --- people with whom you could relate as a gender.
But since you did not have the requisite natural femininity (we all have some amounts of masculinity and femininity whether we are masculine gendered or feminine gendered!), you ended up being neither masculine nor feminine......