Things appear to be getting rather more complicated then necessary for this old layman......
I suppose in an effort to explain to those refusing to accept an explanation that was inevitable.
The whole debate rests on the premise of space and time, and whether they are absolute or not.
The fact that light/photons and the general transmission of any information cannot exceed "c", means that any observable situation at any particular location, is always relative to the observer, or that particular FoR. This then has profound effects on anything happening simultaneously for any two observers.
Einstein called this Special Relativity:
And it applies fully in the current situation being discussed, despite baseless fanatical opposition by some in not being able to see that fact.
The situation is described in the following link rather simply [even for me! ] so it should be understandable to others.
It takes the form of a question and answer:
AT....
http://van.physics.illinois.edu/qa/listing.php?id=16276
QUESTION:
Well, according to the twins paradox, Mary is suppose to age slower than John because shes moving near C relative to John. But if relative to Mary John is travelling near c and relative to Mary John's clock ticks slower as you previously stated, isn't John suppose to age slower than Mary? So in the end, who does age slower???
ANSWER:
So long as they continue in fixed relative motion, there's no objective way to say. Say at time t=0 they started at the same age and the same place. Later on, each wants to see how much the other has aged. They get a picture of the other sent to them. The picture looks young, but they have to make some allowance for the time it took to send the picture, since it was taken a while ago. After making that allowance, each concludes that the other was still not aging as fast as they themselves were. However, each says that the other did not make a big enough allowance, since according to them the relative speed of the light and the other observer was less than c. they each have a consistent account, equally good.
In order to make a comparison that everyone will have to agree on, we have to get John and Mary back to the same place at the same time. Then we can take a picture and everyone in any frame can look and see who aged more. That means that one or both of John and Mary have to change their motion, i.e. accelerate. Say that it's John who fires his rocket engines and accelerates back toward Mary. He no longer is using a non-accelerating frame, so our old rules describing how things look from his point of view don't apply. Mary's frame is ok. She says John isn't aging fast enough, so she must be right. We conclude that John's acceleration back toward Mary must make him see her as aging faster. We can get quantitative about this, figuring out how things look from accelerating frames.
If we then add one more principle, that one can't distinguish between the effects of gravity and acceleration, then we have the ingredients for General Relativity