Gay couples and adoption!!!!! How much do the kids get to say in that??

S

sargentlard

Save the whales motherfucker
Valued Senior Member
I am not sure if there is a thread on this but after reading the thread Wesmorrisbabe started on gay couples and marriage it got me thinking; What about Gay couples adopting and how much autonomy childern get to exercise in that decision??

I have no qualms about anything from the Gay population or any gay person in general. Infact i know a few and they are quite nice and reserved people who are smart as they are humble. What i was thinking of was well when a Gay couple wants to adopt a child...(i know it is legal..i have seen it done)...does the adoption agency take into account the future effects such a fmaily will have on the child. As much as i would like to fart out butterflies i understand the real world and i know that a child would be ridiculed for having two mothers or two fathers...in school...in playgrounds...all the way up to college. I think it would be especially hard for a guy to have that information come out.

Should adoption agencies take those scenarios into account when processing Gay couples requests for adoption???...Does a child have a say in this if the child is fairly old??? Is it ok for the emotional wefare of the child???

Personally i have nothing against it but i know the world can be ignorant about this. What do you think???
 
Originally posted by sargentlard
What about Gay couples adopting and how much autonomy childern get to exercise in that decision??
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What autonomy does any child have in picking his or her parrents?
 
Re: Re: Gay couples and adoption!!!!! How much do the kids get to say in that??

Originally posted by Mystech
What autonomy does any child have in picking his or her parrents?
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I think the kids do get a say in who gets to adopt them. Don't they report back to the adoption agency to tell if the are being abused or not?
 
Well, as far as child's opinion goes, nobody chooses their parents, right?
Since gay couples were allowed to adopt, I understand that adoption agencies have a more positive opinion ab such people than state governments. Glad to see that.
Gay couples aren't ridiculed as much as you think. Yes such a scenario does put a child into a weird position, but he will also feel weird with divorced and remarried parents. Also, in schools, he might be ridiculed/uncomfortable as a child with no poarents, which, I think, is worse.
 
think the kids do get a say in who gets to adopt them. Don't they report back to the adoption agency to tell if the are being abused or not?
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No, there are case workers who follow up on each case. They visit the homes to see how adopted children are treated for a certain amt. of time.

sarge, stop getting scared every time i say i posted. it's a coldexchange of opinions. i'm usually not set on my opinion when i post.
 
Well this isn't exactly dead on topic, but it's related. . .

When an adoption agency tries to determine if a couple is fit to adopt a child, one of the things that they will take into account is criminal record, this is a big one. In states with anti-sodomy laws homosexuals are often rejected (or at least counted against) for the fact that it can be assumed they routinely engage in illegal sexual activity, and in their own orientations promote this illegal behavior, and as such can be seen as poor candidates for parenthood on those grounds.

Kind of a stupid reason if you ask me, rejecting a couple for adoption just because the state has outlawed intimacy.
 
Various

Remember, Mystech, in Florida it's preferable to house children with convicted murderers and accused molesters (as long as they're heterosexual molesters) before you leave the kids in the presence of a lesbian.

As to the topic itself, I think the kids should get exactly as much say as they would otherwise in their adoption.

SargentLard, I'm curious why a gay potential parent is any different from a heterosexual potential parent. And as far as social factors (e.g. school) ... well? Because other people are determined to be stupid, a state should deny a child a good home? Rather, that's a facet of the issue in general that doesn't make sense to me.

And remember, statistically speaking the clear majority of sexual abuse I've known of among my friends when we were growing up was a father abusing a daughter. It would require a concerted effort for gay parents to set a lower standard than their heterosexual counterparts. I would be more wary about letting a hetero couple adopt a child. Based solely on statistics, that is.

:m:,
Tiassa :cool:
 
It should be allowed as long as the couple is
truely devoted the children. Homosexuals
are still sinners just as everyone, but that doesn't mean that they
cannot do good. I would be sort of concerned
about the influence. For example are the children
now more likely to be gay?
 
Originally posted by okinrus
I would be sort of concerned
about the influence. For example are the children
now more likely to be gay?
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Are children with straight parent’s less likely to be gay? I'd very much doubt it, though I must admit that a child with gay parents is probably more likely to accept who he is and not go into denial or into the closet as it were.

Going back to the topic of weather or not a child should be adopted by a gay couple do to the torment he may get from his peers: I feel that if homosexuals were ever denied an adoption based on this factor that people with really ugly haircuts should also be denied the privilege to adopt, after all children are likely to get made fun of for having a parent with ugly hair, too.
 
on the issue of the child being made fun of, keep in mind is also possible that children dont mock other children based on things like is their famliy wierd or not. Usualy a child is targeted for ridicule before anyone really knows anything solid about them, based on other critera entirly (Such as how many popular friends the kid has and if they seem like an easy target, are they physcialy capable of fighting back) and THEN the hunt for things to mock them about begins. Bullys dont mock because they really really think somone is weird, they do it because they have to to gain status.
 
Going back to the topic of weather or not a child should be adopted by a gay couple do to the torment he may get from his peers: I feel that if homosexuals were ever denied an adoption based on this factor that people with really ugly haircuts should also be denied the privilege to adopt, after all children are likely to get made fun of for having a parent with ugly hair, too.
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Maybe it would be best for the biological parents to decide. Most christians would want their children adopted into christian family. Likewise some atheists would want their children adopted into a atheist household.
 
Originally posted by okinrus
Maybe it would be best for the biological parents to decide. Most christians would want their children adopted into christian family. Likewise some atheists would want their children adopted into a atheist household.
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If the biological parents want a say in how their child is raised then they shouldn't put them up for adoption.
 
What autonomy does any child have in picking his or her parrents?
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Actually it does. The whole system is set up to where the child has a father and a mother. Male and female. Not female and female. Not male and male. So really gays have no right to have children. If it is their choice to be gay then they shouldn't have kids because they are incapable of having kids (And dont throw that shit at me about how some female/male couples can't have kids, you know what I mean).

If the biological parents want a say in how their child is raised then they shouldn't put them up for adoption.
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In which case? In the case where the woman gets raped, or the woman is a crack head, or the parents are young, or the parents can't afford to keep the child, etc. I think that the biological parents have every right to say what happens to their child. It is their child.
 
what about single parents?

they cant have kids either, oh yea they already HAD kids

so dont give me that crap

gay couples are just as loving as "normal" couples
 
Yeah ok but lets face it, the kids are going to have a tough time at school.
And parenting isn't about the enjoyment of the parents. Its about raising a happy well balanced human being. Gay parents, no matter how loving they are will raise one angry person. Not angry at them but the rest of the world.
You mustn't remember school very well if you think a kid with gay parents will make it through un-brutally-scathed.
 
Originally posted by CounslerCoffee
Actually it does. The whole system is set up to where the child has a father and a mother. Male and female. Not female and female. Not male and male.
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Yes but this isn't due to any choice of the child, so I don't see how it's relevant to the point you are trying to make.


Originally posted by CounslerCoffee
So really gays have no right to have children. If it is their choice to be gay then they shouldn't have kids because they are incapable of having kids (And dont throw that shit at me about how some female/male couples can't have kids, you know what I mean).
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Well to begin with, it's not really anyon's choice to be gay, not any more than it's someones choice to be straight, you either are or you arent, live with it and play the hand you've been dealt. Second, why does the inability to biologicaly produce a child nullify a couples right to adopt a child? If breeders are having so damned many children that they have to throw some of them away why can't a loving homosexual couple salvage a few and give them some sort of stable loving environment to grow up in?

Also, how does this argument of yours not applie to couples who can not give birth? A couple with a sterile man or barren woman, or both are just as physicaly incapable of producing a child as a homosexual couple, what's the difference?

Originally posted by CounslerCoffee
In which case? In the case where the woman gets raped, or the woman is a crack head, or the parents are young, or the parents can't afford to keep the child, etc. I think that the biological parents have every right to say what happens to their child. It is their child.
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Yes you are right, parents have every right to do with their children as they will. They even have the right to give up their children and their claim to them to the state or any other adoption center, and after that no, they don't have a say in what happens. Sorry, it's kind of sad knowing that parents and children are sometimes separated, but it happens, life moves on, some kids get adopted and actually live pretty nice healthy lives.
 
The whole system is set up to where the child has a father and a mother. Male and female. Not female and female. Not male and male. So really gays have no right to have children. If it is their choice to be gay then they shouldn't have kids because they are incapable of having kids
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So, although the system is still rather backwards and has missed out on an available option, we are timelessly bound to it? Things can change.

In my value system, you have no right denying people with other sexual preferences the possibility of raising children.

Yeah ok but lets face it, the kids are going to have a tough time at school
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How sad that may be, i fear you are right. However, this goes for any kid with any sub-normality. E.g. what about children who have red hair or speech problems... surely they are going to have their share of bullies pushing them around. Nonetheless, it does not imply that they would have miserable lives. Being one of a different hairstyle myself, i should know. My personal believe is that having loving parents weighs far more than a potential verbal trashing from retarded kids in high school.
 
Yes, children can and will be cruel for even the simplest trivialities, should we as a society cater to that pettiness, or should we instead ignore it and try to educate children to be more tolerant when we can?
 
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