not sure if this is the right place to post it,but since its about religion...
from the www.thewaronfaith.com
Why Shit Happens
In Various World Religions:
Agnosticism: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not. What is this shit?! How can we KNOW if shit happens? You can't prove any of this shit.
Amish: Shit is good for the soil. This modern shit is worthless.
Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit. It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it. Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead. No shit!
Religion from an Atheist's point of view: I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's still shit just because it makes me feel better.
Bahaism: Why do you keep shitting on us?
Baptist: We'll wash the shit right off you.
Baptist, Southern: You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it. Shit will happen, so praise da Lawd an pass da cone bread.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone. Shit will happen again to you next time.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it. You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Charismatic Catholicism: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray. Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it. Our shit will take care of itself.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens" Confucius says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."
Darwinism: Survival of the shittiest.
Dianetics: "Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)
Energizer Bunny Cult: Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and...
Episcopalianism: If shit happens, hold a procession.
Fundamentalism: There's no shit in the Bible. Shit happens, but don't publish it.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it) Please take this flower and buy our shit.
Heaven's Gate: Kill yourself with us, and become a higher form of shit.
Hinduism: I've seen this shit before. This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life. This shit happening IS you.
Iraqi Baathist: Oh shit!
Islam: If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah. If shit happens, take a hostage. We don't take any shit.
Jehovah's Witnesses: No shit happens until Armageddon. There is only a limited amount of good shit. Knock Knock, "Shit Happens." Here, we insist you take our shit. Shit happens door to door.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US? Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?
Judaism, Reformed: Got any laxatives?
Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Mormonism: If shit happens, shun it. Crap happens (you can't say shit in Utah) Hey, there's more shit over here! Our shit is better than your shit. Shit happens again & again & again ...
Mysticism: This is really weird shit.
Nation of Islam: Don't take no shit from whitey!
New Age: That's not shit, it's feldspar. A firm shit does not happen to me. This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate. I create my own shit. If shit happens, honor it and share it. Sheeeeeeeeeeit! We're all part of the same shit. For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
Orthodox: St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.
Orthodox, Greek: Shit happens, usually in three's.
Paganism: Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else. If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
Rajhneesh: Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Hey, this is good shit, mon.
Rosicrucianism: What is this AMORC shit?
Satanism: Shit happens to Christians, so take credit for it and piss them off.
Scientology: All this happens to be shit. If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
7th Day Adventism: Shit happens on Saturdays.
Shamanism: Whoaa...Holy Shit!
Shintoism: You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sikhism: Leave our shit alone
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Sureshism: You are all pieces of shit.
Televangelism: Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.
Twelve Step: Shit happens one day at a time.
Toism: Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn't shit. Shit happens, so flow with it.
Unitarianism: What is this Shit? We affirm the right for shit to happen. Go ahead, shit anywhere you want. It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you. Let's stick some pins in this shit! This shit's gonna get you.
Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more. The Goddess makes shit happen.
Witchcraft: Mix this shit together and it will happen
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
from the www.thewaronfaith.com
Why Shit Happens
In Various World Religions:
Agnosticism: It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not. What is this shit?! How can we KNOW if shit happens? You can't prove any of this shit.
Amish: Shit is good for the soil. This modern shit is worthless.
Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit. It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it. Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead. No shit!
Religion from an Atheist's point of view: I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's still shit just because it makes me feel better.
Bahaism: Why do you keep shitting on us?
Baptist: We'll wash the shit right off you.
Baptist, Southern: You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it. Shit will happen, so praise da Lawd an pass da cone bread.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone. Shit will happen again to you next time.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it. You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Charismatic Catholicism: Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray. Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it. Our shit will take care of itself.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens" Confucius says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."
Darwinism: Survival of the shittiest.
Dianetics: "Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)
Energizer Bunny Cult: Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and...
Episcopalianism: If shit happens, hold a procession.
Fundamentalism: There's no shit in the Bible. Shit happens, but don't publish it.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it) Please take this flower and buy our shit.
Heaven's Gate: Kill yourself with us, and become a higher form of shit.
Hinduism: I've seen this shit before. This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life. This shit happening IS you.
Iraqi Baathist: Oh shit!
Islam: If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah. If shit happens, take a hostage. We don't take any shit.
Jehovah's Witnesses: No shit happens until Armageddon. There is only a limited amount of good shit. Knock Knock, "Shit Happens." Here, we insist you take our shit. Shit happens door to door.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US? Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?
Judaism, Reformed: Got any laxatives?
Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Mormonism: If shit happens, shun it. Crap happens (you can't say shit in Utah) Hey, there's more shit over here! Our shit is better than your shit. Shit happens again & again & again ...
Mysticism: This is really weird shit.
Nation of Islam: Don't take no shit from whitey!
New Age: That's not shit, it's feldspar. A firm shit does not happen to me. This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate. I create my own shit. If shit happens, honor it and share it. Sheeeeeeeeeeit! We're all part of the same shit. For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
Orthodox: St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.
Orthodox, Greek: Shit happens, usually in three's.
Paganism: Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else. If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
Rajhneesh: Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Hey, this is good shit, mon.
Rosicrucianism: What is this AMORC shit?
Satanism: Shit happens to Christians, so take credit for it and piss them off.
Scientology: All this happens to be shit. If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
7th Day Adventism: Shit happens on Saturdays.
Shamanism: Whoaa...Holy Shit!
Shintoism: You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sikhism: Leave our shit alone
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Sureshism: You are all pieces of shit.
Televangelism: Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening.
Twelve Step: Shit happens one day at a time.
Toism: Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn't shit. Shit happens, so flow with it.
Unitarianism: What is this Shit? We affirm the right for shit to happen. Go ahead, shit anywhere you want. It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you. Let's stick some pins in this shit! This shit's gonna get you.
Wicca: If shit happened once, it will happen twice more. The Goddess makes shit happen.
Witchcraft: Mix this shit together and it will happen
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.