Friendship and obligations

Hey kSushi,

Well apparent contradictions are an idiom in my Insanely Elite life.

I've been blessed in my world by (almost)always having a true friend around. Wherever I've been, there has been someone (non-romantic) who enters and we bond, just by being who we are and wanting to do things friends do. No magick formulae of give and take. Just a baseline acceptance of eachother.

I find that as real as I get so does my friend. I dredge up the depths of nightmares, and fly into estatic grand visions, and I am accepted. My friends have opened up and shared their best and worst and they are accepted by me.

I didn't say always be happy. In truth I was having some trouble making the 'obligation' part coherent. IMO real friends are--real, honest, accepting etc, these are not obligations they are facts of friendship.

My buddy Terry rolled up from down south, He had dropped his bike 2 wks. earlier and it was serious. We talked over the phone when it happened, and I didn't go down 'cause he had his recovery covered. Anyway, seeing him all injured was tough but made easier by his optimistic spirit. He didn't put on a good face for me. When we 1st met he would have been in shambles. But through the years it seems we were obligated to grow and enjoy our lives to the betterment and greater fullfillment of friendship.
 
kSushi said:
Do you think there any obligations between friends? I guess the right answer is no, but what if say somebody is a good friend of yours, but hardly ever listenes to you in a large goup of people? Say you are really close to each other, share thoughts, and when something bad happens, you call or write each other, but when there are many ppl around, s/he kinda ignores you?
Do friends have to always be there for you or it's their choice and you can't expect anything from them? What do you think?
Click to expand...

I personally feel that if someone does not choose to awknowledge that you are there (in a large group) it means that they are, in some form, using you. I think that a true friend is obligated to be there for you at all times. Not just when s/he feels that it is convenient to do so.

I also think that if someone does that they are purely an aquaintance. If they want to be your "true friend" and if you can share anything with them let them know that you were simply "wondering why ur being ignored". If they are sincere they will understand that you are feeling this way - if not... well then ... they weren't that great of a friend to begin with.

Overall, I guess this is the type of situation that you need to decide for yourself because the relationship between you two may be strong and the situation may be different. This is only my feedback. Hope it helps.

- Steph
 
this is a nerdy inside joke:

"One of the reasons why friends are necessary is that sometimes a subprogram must be written that can access the members of two different classes"

.50 USD in Paypal cash to anyone who can guess what they're talking about. Hint: Programming won't cut it, need to specify the paradigm here involved and what specific programming language supports such construct. :D
 
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