Since usually, when I make this kind of statement, I get a bunch of idiots who think I'm promoting a diet of eggplant parmesan and roasted sirloin tip, I will make sure to use two related, leafy, green vegetables as a basis for comparison. Are you happy now, cheesedicks?
Now, in the human population, I am in the extreme minority that is capable of sustaining a brisk walk or a steady jog for a good ten miles. That was on a pack-a-day of Marlboro regular, by the way; I've switched to E-cigs, so now it's more of a lope if I put my mind to it. The reason that I can do this is that I, unlike the majority of the human population, eat real food. I like all kinds of tastes, and more is better. I like strong, bitter chocolates. Between parsnip and carrot, I prefer parsnip. I like kippers and anchovies; they don't just taste good, but they are anti-inflammatory (most people don't know this). I like hot sauces that go down like hot coals (immune function), and it isn't real coffee unless it can stand up on its own and has a sinus-tickling froth at the top (you are never going to believe this, but it's good for your teeth. Laugh it up). I like any kind of taste that has a bang to it. I even use oatmeal as a milk substitute in smoothies (you're going to love this): it's got more texture and flavor, and it's a little cheaper when you add everything up. Food is supposed to have taste.
The reason that America is fat, people, is that people in the United States of America still believe that the only way that you can be healthy or wholesome is to punish yourself. It's one of the side-effects of Christianity: they live under the mentality that all the good things in life are somehow bad for you. Not true. If you want to be healthy, people, seek out something stimulating and exciting. Learn how to be a food snob, and develop your palate to all kinds of tastes. Develop and learn to love every part of your palate. You will get so much more enjoyment out of life.
I cannot comprehend why people turn away from bitter tastes. I love bitter tastes, and that's why I prefer romaine lettuce over the styrofoam shit that they serve at the McDonald's. It's got a much more interesting, complex flavor, and it really is a superior vegetable. I don't want to eat a pale, bland vegetable: that's not food. It's filler material! It's CRAP! Throw it away! Real food should pack a punch! Here is site showing a nutritional smackdown between these two vegetables:
http://makinghealthyfoodchoices.blogspot.com/2009/03/iceberg-lettuce-vs-romaine-lettuce.html
If you follow the link, you will find that the romaine lettuce is lower in sugar, higher in potassium and calcium, much higher in folate, about ten times higher in beta-carotene, and WAY higher in vitamins A, K and C. Now, it's no coincidence that, between the two, the nutritionally superior vegetable is also significantly higher in this thing we call "TASTE." If you have a well developed palate, you will notice that there is much more pleasure to be found in eating romaine lettuce.
The thing is, one thing that makes a big difference in whether you will be able to take enjoyment in this vegetable is the order in which you eat your food. There is a specific reason that, when we go out to eat at a restaurant, we like to have a side salad with it:
http://www.newbeauty.com/dailybeauty/entry.aspx?ID=1102
The purpose is hygienic. Leafy, green vegetables not only help your teeth by scrubbing them down, but...
http://blog.worldvillage.com/health/an_alkaline_diet_to_reduce_acid_reflux_symptoms.html
...the alkalizing effect that a vegetable like romaine lettuce has on your body can help prevent acid reflux. You are not going to get that effect with some shitty filler material like iceberg lettuce. If you want to have better health, stop punishing yourself: the right food at the right time should taste good. Why in the Hell do you want to deal with acid reflux, indigestion, and a really shitty taste in your mouth the following morning if you don't have to?
Here is an interesting point, though: the reason we like to have raw vegetables after a steak dinner is that this helps to keep our palate and our digestive tract sanitary, preventing us from suffering from a nasty, sour taste in our mouths later on in the evening. This is part of how we cope with having meat in our diet. Even true carnivores have their own adaptations for maintaining oral/digestive hygiene: cats have stronger mucosal secretions for insuring that anything they eat is adequately broken down, and those nasty hairballs they cough up are actually very important for cleansing their upper digestive tract. The vegans will never admit it, but meat actually is good for you; the reason that it's killing us, though, is that we keep punishing ourselves. Don't punish yourself: it's bad for you.
But what about dessert? What about it? Well, believe it or not, your dessert can play a role in maintaining oral/digestive hygiene. But wait, doesn't that go completely against conventional wisdom? Shouldn't we good, little American fatties, and punish ourselves by skipping out on dessert? Hell, no. Conventional wisdom can lick my balls. Remember, good health tastes good now. You can stop punishing yourself. For starters...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/892591.stm
...have some god-damned chocolate. Have some REAL chocolate, not just sugar with chocolate IN it. We're developing our palate now, and we're learning to enjoy all sorts of good tastes. This includes the true taste of chocolate, and there is really a lot of orgasmic pleasure to be found in it. You didn't know that sweets could be good for your teeth, did you? Don't skip out on dessert, people. Punishing yourself just doesn't work. Chocolate is a wonderful, healthy food, and there are all kinds of wonderful things that you can throw into it. That includes...
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=o...qi=&aq=&oq=&aqi=&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&fp=5_nS6qv-qCw
...cranberries, babe. By themselves, cranberries are actually too tart to be pleasurable to eat. Like sensible, intelligent people, we don't like to punish ourselves, so we don't eat enough of this perfectly good fruit. The thing that we forget about cranberries and the reason we don't eat enough of them is that they get all lonely, all on their own. Why do you have to punish yourself and the cranberry? If you don't like the way dark chocolate tastes all by itself (I don't), the best way to sweeten it is to add a few cranberries to it. It tastes good. It doesn't just taste orgasmic, though, but the combination of the two actually makes your teeth healthier. Good health doesn't taste bad. Bad health tastes bad.
And, going back to the oatmeal, why do people have to punish themselves by taking this perfectly good grain and using it in entirely the wrong way? When you use oatmeal as a milk substitute or additive in smoothies, for example, you are making much better use of it than if you just served it in a bowl. We're using milk too much as fucking, god-damned filler material. Jesus Christ, put something substantial in there, and stop punishing yourself by using a product that, if you overuse it, will only leave a nasty, sour taste in your mouth. Milk is a wonderful, useful ingredient, so let's stop punishing ourselves by using it in really shitty, stupid, wasteful ways. Believe it or not, I have a very good reason for my preoccupation with oatmeal.
http://www.nutramed.com/eatingdisorders/addictivefoods.htm
Americans are eating too much wheat. The way that wheat gluten is metabolized in the human body results in certain opioid peptides that result in heightening our addiction to really shitty, bad-tasting food. Oat gluten, on the other hand, does not do this as badly as wheat gluten does. Instead of punishing ourselves by striking grains out of our diet, then, let's get our daily allotment of carbohydrates in the form of something that tastes good. There are so many wonderful things that we can do using grains like oat, millet, or barley. We are just too underappreciative of our food to try them. Besides, oats are very high in soluble dietary fiber, so it helps remove cholesterol instead of adding to what is already there.
Food is not the enemy, people. When are we going to learn this, and stop punishing ourselves? Let's develop and cultivate our tastes. Let's be food snobs, and let's be kind to ourselves. That's the real answer, people. I had a fellow trying to ridicule me the other day for saying this, but food that doesn't have any flavor is probably bad for your health. Let's be intelligent, and let's put food back into the position of being the good guy. Treating ourselves like crap is not getting us anywhere.
Now, in the human population, I am in the extreme minority that is capable of sustaining a brisk walk or a steady jog for a good ten miles. That was on a pack-a-day of Marlboro regular, by the way; I've switched to E-cigs, so now it's more of a lope if I put my mind to it. The reason that I can do this is that I, unlike the majority of the human population, eat real food. I like all kinds of tastes, and more is better. I like strong, bitter chocolates. Between parsnip and carrot, I prefer parsnip. I like kippers and anchovies; they don't just taste good, but they are anti-inflammatory (most people don't know this). I like hot sauces that go down like hot coals (immune function), and it isn't real coffee unless it can stand up on its own and has a sinus-tickling froth at the top (you are never going to believe this, but it's good for your teeth. Laugh it up). I like any kind of taste that has a bang to it. I even use oatmeal as a milk substitute in smoothies (you're going to love this): it's got more texture and flavor, and it's a little cheaper when you add everything up. Food is supposed to have taste.
The reason that America is fat, people, is that people in the United States of America still believe that the only way that you can be healthy or wholesome is to punish yourself. It's one of the side-effects of Christianity: they live under the mentality that all the good things in life are somehow bad for you. Not true. If you want to be healthy, people, seek out something stimulating and exciting. Learn how to be a food snob, and develop your palate to all kinds of tastes. Develop and learn to love every part of your palate. You will get so much more enjoyment out of life.
I cannot comprehend why people turn away from bitter tastes. I love bitter tastes, and that's why I prefer romaine lettuce over the styrofoam shit that they serve at the McDonald's. It's got a much more interesting, complex flavor, and it really is a superior vegetable. I don't want to eat a pale, bland vegetable: that's not food. It's filler material! It's CRAP! Throw it away! Real food should pack a punch! Here is site showing a nutritional smackdown between these two vegetables:
http://makinghealthyfoodchoices.blogspot.com/2009/03/iceberg-lettuce-vs-romaine-lettuce.html
If you follow the link, you will find that the romaine lettuce is lower in sugar, higher in potassium and calcium, much higher in folate, about ten times higher in beta-carotene, and WAY higher in vitamins A, K and C. Now, it's no coincidence that, between the two, the nutritionally superior vegetable is also significantly higher in this thing we call "TASTE." If you have a well developed palate, you will notice that there is much more pleasure to be found in eating romaine lettuce.
The thing is, one thing that makes a big difference in whether you will be able to take enjoyment in this vegetable is the order in which you eat your food. There is a specific reason that, when we go out to eat at a restaurant, we like to have a side salad with it:
http://www.newbeauty.com/dailybeauty/entry.aspx?ID=1102
The purpose is hygienic. Leafy, green vegetables not only help your teeth by scrubbing them down, but...
http://blog.worldvillage.com/health/an_alkaline_diet_to_reduce_acid_reflux_symptoms.html
...the alkalizing effect that a vegetable like romaine lettuce has on your body can help prevent acid reflux. You are not going to get that effect with some shitty filler material like iceberg lettuce. If you want to have better health, stop punishing yourself: the right food at the right time should taste good. Why in the Hell do you want to deal with acid reflux, indigestion, and a really shitty taste in your mouth the following morning if you don't have to?
Here is an interesting point, though: the reason we like to have raw vegetables after a steak dinner is that this helps to keep our palate and our digestive tract sanitary, preventing us from suffering from a nasty, sour taste in our mouths later on in the evening. This is part of how we cope with having meat in our diet. Even true carnivores have their own adaptations for maintaining oral/digestive hygiene: cats have stronger mucosal secretions for insuring that anything they eat is adequately broken down, and those nasty hairballs they cough up are actually very important for cleansing their upper digestive tract. The vegans will never admit it, but meat actually is good for you; the reason that it's killing us, though, is that we keep punishing ourselves. Don't punish yourself: it's bad for you.
But what about dessert? What about it? Well, believe it or not, your dessert can play a role in maintaining oral/digestive hygiene. But wait, doesn't that go completely against conventional wisdom? Shouldn't we good, little American fatties, and punish ourselves by skipping out on dessert? Hell, no. Conventional wisdom can lick my balls. Remember, good health tastes good now. You can stop punishing yourself. For starters...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/892591.stm
...have some god-damned chocolate. Have some REAL chocolate, not just sugar with chocolate IN it. We're developing our palate now, and we're learning to enjoy all sorts of good tastes. This includes the true taste of chocolate, and there is really a lot of orgasmic pleasure to be found in it. You didn't know that sweets could be good for your teeth, did you? Don't skip out on dessert, people. Punishing yourself just doesn't work. Chocolate is a wonderful, healthy food, and there are all kinds of wonderful things that you can throw into it. That includes...
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=o...qi=&aq=&oq=&aqi=&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&fp=5_nS6qv-qCw
...cranberries, babe. By themselves, cranberries are actually too tart to be pleasurable to eat. Like sensible, intelligent people, we don't like to punish ourselves, so we don't eat enough of this perfectly good fruit. The thing that we forget about cranberries and the reason we don't eat enough of them is that they get all lonely, all on their own. Why do you have to punish yourself and the cranberry? If you don't like the way dark chocolate tastes all by itself (I don't), the best way to sweeten it is to add a few cranberries to it. It tastes good. It doesn't just taste orgasmic, though, but the combination of the two actually makes your teeth healthier. Good health doesn't taste bad. Bad health tastes bad.
And, going back to the oatmeal, why do people have to punish themselves by taking this perfectly good grain and using it in entirely the wrong way? When you use oatmeal as a milk substitute or additive in smoothies, for example, you are making much better use of it than if you just served it in a bowl. We're using milk too much as fucking, god-damned filler material. Jesus Christ, put something substantial in there, and stop punishing yourself by using a product that, if you overuse it, will only leave a nasty, sour taste in your mouth. Milk is a wonderful, useful ingredient, so let's stop punishing ourselves by using it in really shitty, stupid, wasteful ways. Believe it or not, I have a very good reason for my preoccupation with oatmeal.
http://www.nutramed.com/eatingdisorders/addictivefoods.htm
Americans are eating too much wheat. The way that wheat gluten is metabolized in the human body results in certain opioid peptides that result in heightening our addiction to really shitty, bad-tasting food. Oat gluten, on the other hand, does not do this as badly as wheat gluten does. Instead of punishing ourselves by striking grains out of our diet, then, let's get our daily allotment of carbohydrates in the form of something that tastes good. There are so many wonderful things that we can do using grains like oat, millet, or barley. We are just too underappreciative of our food to try them. Besides, oats are very high in soluble dietary fiber, so it helps remove cholesterol instead of adding to what is already there.
Food is not the enemy, people. When are we going to learn this, and stop punishing ourselves? Let's develop and cultivate our tastes. Let's be food snobs, and let's be kind to ourselves. That's the real answer, people. I had a fellow trying to ridicule me the other day for saying this, but food that doesn't have any flavor is probably bad for your health. Let's be intelligent, and let's put food back into the position of being the good guy. Treating ourselves like crap is not getting us anywhere.
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