Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Russian Orthodox: Shit happens to make me better.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: If you work hard, shit won't happen.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: Shit evolves.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit
Nihilism: No shit.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Russian Orthodox: Shit happens to make me better.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: If you work hard, shit won't happen.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: Shit evolves.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit
Nihilism: No shit.