Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend homosexuality, for example, I will simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other laws in Leviticus and Exodus and how to best follow them. To wit:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as stated in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how can I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Canadians, but not Mexicans. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine says that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Leviticus 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Sincerely,
A devoted listener
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church If.....
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for
the purchase of a chandelier because none of the
Members knows how to play one.
People ask (when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000)
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
Bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't get out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding"
There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
*High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
something too heavy.
The baptismal fount is a #2 galvanized washtub..
The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with
the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend homosexuality, for example, I will simply remind him or her that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other laws in Leviticus and Exodus and how to best follow them. To wit:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as stated in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how can I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Canadians, but not Mexicans. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine says that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
Leviticus 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Sincerely,
A devoted listener
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church If.....
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for
the purchase of a chandelier because none of the
Members knows how to play one.
People ask (when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000)
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
Bait was used to catch 'em.
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help
take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
hole it couldn't get out of."
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as "branding"
There is a special fundraiser for a new church septic tank
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
*High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
something too heavy.
The baptismal fount is a #2 galvanized washtub..
The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with
the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.