kmguru
Staff member
Computer joke received in the email:
To all you computer savvy people...isn't this so true?
>
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close
all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a
left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which
case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought CarNT, but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but
would run on only five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault"
warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure"
before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, and turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's Performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would haveto learn to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.
I would like to add that GM would make an engine that will last more that 70,000 miles? Dream on....
To all you computer savvy people...isn't this so true?
>
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close
all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a
left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which
case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought CarNT, but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but
would run on only five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault"
warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure"
before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, and turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's Performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would haveto learn to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.
I would like to add that GM would make an engine that will last more that 70,000 miles? Dream on....
