I'm madder than Hillary Clinton at a bikini contest over all the criticism our great college kids are taking these days.
You might find a hippie or two crawling out of the ivy on some campuses now and then but business classes are busting at the seams.
These fine youngsters are learning what this great nation is all about -- the Almighty Dollar.
Even the late great General George Washington sold junk bonds to pay for guns to blast those tinhorn Redcoats back to fancy-schmancy Buckingham Palace.
Let's face it. Most moms and dads struggle to send junior off to college for one reason -- to learn to make money so they won't have to foot the bill for some pathetic 30-year-old bum.
And girls go to college to meet these sharp young men who know how to make a fast buck. The true spirit of going to college is back at last.
According to my latest statistics, panty raids on girls' dorms are up nearly 61 percent from 1984 and fast approaching the levels of the 1950s. Now that's something to give the old college cheer about!
Panty raids are as American as football and on some campuses; they've even created teams of fraternity men to compete in this fun sport. The team that grabs the most underwear on any particular raid gets a free keg of beer.
I'll take those delighted squeals coming from a girls' dorm over the sound of Commie protesters blubbering into bullhorns any day.
And another thing. Army ROTC is more popular than pep rallies on campus these days. What better way to teach the Future Young Business Men of America to protect all the things they'll be able to buy when they graduate?
The M-16 assault rifle they learn to use in ROTC is better than all the lawyers in town when it comes to guarding their money.
And instead of some stupid folksinger carrying a guitar around the quadrangle these days, the kids are carrying those newfangled portable computers.
Burn a flag on campus these days and you're liable to get a Radio Shack laptop up side the head.
So here's a snappy Ed Anger salute to all you college kids . . . You're the future of a wheelin' and dealin' America.
You might find a hippie or two crawling out of the ivy on some campuses now and then but business classes are busting at the seams.
These fine youngsters are learning what this great nation is all about -- the Almighty Dollar.
Even the late great General George Washington sold junk bonds to pay for guns to blast those tinhorn Redcoats back to fancy-schmancy Buckingham Palace.
Let's face it. Most moms and dads struggle to send junior off to college for one reason -- to learn to make money so they won't have to foot the bill for some pathetic 30-year-old bum.
And girls go to college to meet these sharp young men who know how to make a fast buck. The true spirit of going to college is back at last.
According to my latest statistics, panty raids on girls' dorms are up nearly 61 percent from 1984 and fast approaching the levels of the 1950s. Now that's something to give the old college cheer about!
Panty raids are as American as football and on some campuses; they've even created teams of fraternity men to compete in this fun sport. The team that grabs the most underwear on any particular raid gets a free keg of beer.
I'll take those delighted squeals coming from a girls' dorm over the sound of Commie protesters blubbering into bullhorns any day.
And another thing. Army ROTC is more popular than pep rallies on campus these days. What better way to teach the Future Young Business Men of America to protect all the things they'll be able to buy when they graduate?
The M-16 assault rifle they learn to use in ROTC is better than all the lawyers in town when it comes to guarding their money.
And instead of some stupid folksinger carrying a guitar around the quadrangle these days, the kids are carrying those newfangled portable computers.
Burn a flag on campus these days and you're liable to get a Radio Shack laptop up side the head.
So here's a snappy Ed Anger salute to all you college kids . . . You're the future of a wheelin' and dealin' America.