"Two people are standing on a street corner, a bus goes by and splashes mud on both of them. They should have the same response, for both have experienced the same event. Do you really think it will be so? One will forget it, but the other will spend days talking to his friends about the bus driver who splattered him with mud and how furious he is about it. The same event, the response different. In the instant that the 'mud' descends, choice is present, and you can drop the negative factor in yourself or you can enlarge it.
"You think it is very hard to make other choices. But it is possible! You see your boyfriend talking to a girl that is much more gorgeous than you. You know all the negative choices, so think about some of the positive ones, for they are there also. And out of the vast repertoire of infinite possibilities, you can choose another one. You refuse to make another choice because you still believe you can change the other person. You still think if you go to your boyfriend and demand that he not talk to that gorgeous girl because it makes you feel terrible, he will do as you ask. Maybe he will, and if he does you will think that you have won. But you have given up your power by abdicating your responsibility. You have not had to do anything but ask him to change. As long as you are addicted to the idea that manipulating your universe from the outside will make you happy, you will not change. It is this type of manipulation that in the end will imprison you both. Now he has the right to tell you not to do something he does not like. And you will be obligated to do it, for now you have a trade-off. You make trade-offs all the time in your relationships. In the end you will see that you are limiting each other day after day and are both equally imprisoned. If you learn only one thing in this lifetime, let it be this: you are responsible for your own happiness. And you accomplish this by changing your responses to the events that happen in your life.
"One of the greatest obstacles to your happiness is the belief that the world makes you miserable. It is your response to the world that makes you miserable. Please understand that as deeply as you can. Put yourself in control. People trip you up because they want you to feel guilty because when you feel guilty enough, you will do what they want you to do. The sad feature is that changing another's behavior is never enough, because it is not the other who is the source of your happiness."
-- Bartholomew
"You think it is very hard to make other choices. But it is possible! You see your boyfriend talking to a girl that is much more gorgeous than you. You know all the negative choices, so think about some of the positive ones, for they are there also. And out of the vast repertoire of infinite possibilities, you can choose another one. You refuse to make another choice because you still believe you can change the other person. You still think if you go to your boyfriend and demand that he not talk to that gorgeous girl because it makes you feel terrible, he will do as you ask. Maybe he will, and if he does you will think that you have won. But you have given up your power by abdicating your responsibility. You have not had to do anything but ask him to change. As long as you are addicted to the idea that manipulating your universe from the outside will make you happy, you will not change. It is this type of manipulation that in the end will imprison you both. Now he has the right to tell you not to do something he does not like. And you will be obligated to do it, for now you have a trade-off. You make trade-offs all the time in your relationships. In the end you will see that you are limiting each other day after day and are both equally imprisoned. If you learn only one thing in this lifetime, let it be this: you are responsible for your own happiness. And you accomplish this by changing your responses to the events that happen in your life.
"One of the greatest obstacles to your happiness is the belief that the world makes you miserable. It is your response to the world that makes you miserable. Please understand that as deeply as you can. Put yourself in control. People trip you up because they want you to feel guilty because when you feel guilty enough, you will do what they want you to do. The sad feature is that changing another's behavior is never enough, because it is not the other who is the source of your happiness."
-- Bartholomew