First, white paws are almost always due to a temperature difference in the extremities. The genes for colour have a temperature dependent step, and are inhibited by the few degree difference in temperature at the paws.
Calico cats are always female not because it is lethal in males, but because a part of colour is X-linked, and the mosaic model of females comes into effect. During development, one of the X chromosomes in each cell is inactivated at random so the genes on the X chromosome aren't over-expressed. If one X has colour, and one doesn't, you will end up with a patchy cat.