Big Cars

[SpyMoose]

For the driver looking for more in a pickup -- one that dwarfs the Hummer and the Ford F-350 -- Navistar has just the ride for you.

http://money.cnn.com/2004/09/13/pf/autos/monster_truck/index.htm

Just checking, this IS a completely morally bankrupt idea, right? I mean selling a vehicle like this, that will use fuel like it will, that will create noise like it will, that will put people in command of a barreling engine of doom, it’s completely morally bankrupt. Real commercial truck drivers need special licenses, and they are the best drivers on the road. But what happens when all the fat soccer moms, doped up on valium and anti-depressants as they are, in my neighborhood trade in their spanking new H2 ( I see so many of those things in my area, typically driven by fat blond women ) for this new behemoth?

Do you think corporate America has any responsibility to keep a product like this off the market? They will probably be able to handle the legal liability issues caused by the fact that its going to kill people in even minor traffic accidents, but with the fuel consumption factor mixed in there, isn't this thing over the line?

I mean, I know that if it’s not deadly (that is if the company is not legally liable for deaths caused by it) and people buy it then we just blame it on market forces, there must have been a demand, right? But what about all of us who can’t stand it? I want a fucking small fuel efficient car and all you SUV people have gone mad enough that Ill probably die in an auto accident for that choice. Where is my compensation? Where am I in your vehicular homicide arms race? I mean, you are never even going to put anything in the bed of that thing are you? Look at me, you havn't even bought it yet and already I'm spitting mad at you just that that picture exists!

 

[Repo Man]

Christ, why not just go to your local goddamn Mack Truck dealer? "It's great for long roadtrips, it has a bunk!" You can really see over all of the traffic in a Mack!

If present trends continue, it will only be a matter of time before people are driving heavy equipment like this on the road:

If BMWs are "The ultimate driving machine", this would have to qualify as the "Ultimate safety machine". You could drive over traffic and not even get slowed down.

 

[Dreamwalker]

First of all, I am so damn glad that I will never see such a thing here in Germany, I mean, it uses about 38 litres of fuel per 100km, that means you have to pay about 44 Euros (when the gas price is low) to get 100km...

Second, you do not need a special license to drive it? Well here you do, everything over 2.7 tons needs a new/upgraded drivers license.

So it seems that something like that will probably only exist in the US.

But who needs a car, no make that a truck, that is so damn big and rather useless? Also, I do think that it is very unresponsable to put somthing like that on the street. It weights seven tons, that´s quite enough to smash a smaller car or kill a person at very, very low speed.

Yes, I think you should keep such a thing from the market. I do not see any advantages in something like that. And for those who want to make an impression, how about using something that is not so ugly, dangerous, wasteful and useless?

Why not use something like this while you are at it?

 

[Mystech]

But who needs a car, no make that a truck, that is so damn big and rather useless? Also, I do think that it is very unresponsable to put somthing like that on the street.

An American, that's who! You pansy old Europe creeps make me laugh. You're just afraid of how phenomenally cooler American vehicles are. There's only one nation in the world that's entitled to the giant foam finger: The good ol' US of A, and our grotesquely enormous SUVs and trucks are part of that!

It weights seven tons, that´s quite enough to smash a smaller car or kill a person at very, very low speed.

Ahh ha ha. You mean deadly to the other guy, don't you? I say if you're in one of those stupid little Ford focuses or Toyota Echos then you get exactly what you paid for when you bought your dinky stupid little clown car.

And for those who want to make an impression, how about using something that is not so ugly, dangerous, wasteful and useless?

Sir, if I were a liberal pussy and prone to such things, I'd say that that comment is an offence against my culture and heritage! You just don't understand the American dream!

(Yes, this post was meant to be entirely absurd, sarcastic, and essentialy is just here to play devil's advocate. Or in otherwords it's just satire, do don't blow up at me.)

 

[spidergoat]

It was only a matter of time. In fact, I saw a parody website a couple years ago that photoshopped 18 wheelers into ultra-big SUV's, and now it's a reality.

"First of all, I am so damn glad that I will never see such a thing here in Germany"
------------------
Ummm, ever heard of a Mercedes Unimog? The Unimog is actually really cool, they have diesel engines and get 11mpg, which isn't too bad for such a truck.


"I say if you're in one of those stupid little Ford focuses or Toyota Echos then you get exactly what you paid for when you bought your dinky stupid little clown car."
--------
The Focus is an excellent car in terms of performance and handling, and the hatchback has a surprising amount of cargo space. I don't know why it only gets 22mpg, though. www.focaljet.com

 

[Dreamwalker]

Sure I have heard of the Unimog, but it is normally used by the army and construction companies, and other places where you need a vehicle that can carry much and can be used off road. I have only seen a very few people that used it in private, mostly for off road competitions or for tours through countries like Russia where good streets are seldom.
And, as far as I know, an Unimog is not classified as SUV, it is a utility vehicle, not some car for people who want to make an impression. (and I think it does not use so much gas. BTW, I have found one for 2.200 €...)

Anyway, I think using small cars is reasonable, if there is a need for space, why not use a van, much more secure. But no, big-ass SUVs are so much better...

 

[Star_One]

I have to agree, American car's are Awesome (well, ones made before the year 2000 at least).

I hope to get a "yank tank" as my first car

 

[Nasor]

"Navistar"? Have they run out of actual words to use as names?

 

[fireguy_31]

Just checking, this IS a completely morally bankrupt idea, right?

No doubt. Funny, I can see the headlines 5 years from now, 'US requirements for crude oil exceed present availability' right next to the headline, 'US invasion of *insert oil stock country here* billed as just'.

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

Second, you do not need a special license to drive it? Well here you do, everything over 2.7 tons needs a new/upgraded drivers license. So it seems that something like that will probably only exist in the US.

Yes, that's the part that bothers me the most. That anybody with a Class C license (or whatever they call it in the other states) can drive a five thousand pound farm truck masquerading as a station wagon for Klingons. They have no idea what they're getting into until something goes wrong. They don't drive like cars. Their center of gravity is too high so they sway like cars haven't done since the 1950s. A serious steering maneuver can roll one, just like the cars of the 1950s. They don't stop as well as cars, at least not as well as any car built since the 1950s. Their engines -- their most massive component -- are at the same level as the most fragile part of an automobile: the windows and the occupants' heads. Even their bumpers don't line up with car bumpers, so in a collision all those millions of dollars of research that went into the invention of impact-absorbing bumpers is down the drain and cars suffer thousands of dollars of body damage.

They're no worse than big trucks, of course. But then people can't drive big trucks without special training and a special license. The safety record of truck drivers is exemplary so we don't mind the fact that they... well, that they drive trucks.

You have to get a special license to operate a frelling motorcycle! And the only life you're risking is your own. And perhaps one passenger who probably has some idea what they're getting involved in when they notice that there's no doors, roof, or seat belt.

But you can buy a Klingon station wagon and go wobbling down the freeway with your whole family in it, and when it rolls over you can kill not only your own entire family but somebody else's too. With nothing but the driver's license they give an 18-year-old with less than ten hours of behind-the-wheel training.

 

[Mystech]

But you can buy a Klingon station wagon and go wobbling down the freeway with your whole family in it, and when it rolls over you can kill not only your own entire family but somebody else's too. With nothing but the driver's license they give an 18-year-old with less than ten hours of behind-the-wheel training.

And at that point you're entirely free to sue the manufacturer! Too bad you can't go back and sue the state for your subs-standard public education. Maybe you could sue yourself for being such a knuckle head. . .hmmm there's an idea. Perhaps you could sue god fo having given you such a massive problem with insecurity (small dick) that you'd need to buy such an environmental and personal/public safety hazard.

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

Suing oneself. What a great idea! The only person who would make any money off the deal would be your attorney. And, of course your attorney.

More seriously -- as if this thread has any hope of staying on a serious track -- this isn't necessarily a macho thing. I know plenty of women who drive SUVs. And they aren't the butch ones so it's not what I know you're thinking. They get sucked in by the marketing.

"It's the only vehicle with tall enough interior space to be able to get my baby and baby seat in or out in less than fifteen minutes without getting a back ache." I think we have Big Nanny to thank for that one. Wouldn't it improve the baby's chance of growing old enough to not need a baby seat to simply drive a safer vehicle even if it didn't accommodate the baby seat?

"I feel more secure being able to see over the traffic." Well the woman behind you feels a whole lot less secure because she can't see over, around or through you. And the woman in front of you feels a whole lot less secure because even though you can see over her you still can't stop your tank in time to avoid ramming your engine through her skull.

"It's so much better in foul weather." The last time it snowed in Washington DC they were dragging upside-down SUVs off the Beltway by the dozen.

"It has so much carrying space." Unless it's one of the six thousand pound monsters that gets 5 mpg (45 l/100km to you Europeans), it probably won't hold any more people or cargo than a large station wagon or a minivan, both of which are safer and more economical than even the typical 4,500 pound monster.

"I look really cool driving this sucker." My wife looks really cool driving her 1980 Mercedes 300SD. It cost $3,000, gets 23 mpg (10 l/100km), carries eight dogs and $300 worth of groceries, and remains one of the safest vehicles on the road.

 

[alain]

"Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
Smells like a steak, and seats thirty five?
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Hey, hey!
Twelve yards long, two lanes wide,
Sixty five tons of American pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero!
She blinds everybody with her super high beams
She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' drivin' machine
Canyonero! Canyonero! Canyonero!
Whoa, Canyonero! Whoa!"

need any more be said?

 

[fireguy_31]

"It's so much better in foul weather." The last time it snowed in Washington DC they were dragging upside-down SUVs off the Beltway by the dozen.

LOL! Exactly! The vast majority - people I've met - of people who buy SUV's or 4wd's are sold on the idea that 5 cm of ice or 1 m of snow on the road won't slow them down when, in fact, slowing down and stopping in such conditions is the real critical part.

 

[spuriousmonkey]

I think all american citizens should be forced to live without a car for at least a year, preferably something like 5 years.

 

[Repo Man]

"I feel more secure being able to see over the traffic." Well the woman behind you feels a whole lot less secure because she can't see over, around or through you. And the woman in front of you feels a whole lot less secure because even though you can see over her you still can't stop your tank in time to avoid ramming your engine through her skull.

I really love that one. It's like standing in the theater to be able to see better. It only works as long as everyone else remains seated. Once everyone else is standing (that is driving around in another equally jacked up station wagon) it no longer works ("I hate SUVs, you can't see over them" said the SUV driver), and you're right back where you started.

There is nothing really wrong with an SUV. They are the right choice for a very small percentage of the motoring public. But how have they come to be so stylish? High center of gravity with mostly useless four wheel drive. I really think an underlying factor is how seriously overweight so many are in this country. "They are easy to get in and out of" is one of the rationalizations for buying them I hear a lot. Well, lose some weight, and you won't find getting in and out of a standard automobile so difficult.

The simple answer would be a gas tax. But that is political suicide in this country. Where we are willing to pay trillions in oxymoronically named "defense spending" (really offense spending) to ensure cheap gas. If nothing else, the cost of our Persian gulf interventions should be funded by a gas tax. A users tax in the truest sense.

 

[Asguard]

you guys REALLY have no tax on petrol???????????????

we pay like TWICE the cost in tax that the retailer and wholesaler make out of it

 

[cyberia]

"We can see it as a vehicle for business people who want to make a distinct impression. For personal use, it's for people who want to make a statement."

If you want to make a statement, paint a sign on your car!

What statement can you possibly make with this?

"I'm really rich. I mean ridiculously! WHOA NELLY you have no idea how rich I am! *whistles* If you mugged me for the grand or so I'm carrying around to keep this things gas tank full I probably wouldn't even notice! WOWZERS I'm loaded!"

or

"Rob me."

I mean come on give me a break it comes with a friggin DVD player. A DVD PLAYER! (uh officer sorry I didn't see the little girl get squashed under my behemoth I was watching seinfeld on my in dash wide screen DVD player.)

 

[Repo Man]

There are state and federal gas taxes here in the U.S. But they are far less than in any European country.

 

[Stokes Pennwalt]

you guys REALLY have no tax on petrol???????????????

we pay like TWICE the cost in tax that the retailer and wholesaler make out of it

Just to put that in perspective, though, automobiles and longer drives are much more of a necessity for life in the US than in a lot of other countries. Our mass transit systems suck ass. So, the average American needs more fuel per week/month/whatever than a lot of others do.

Haven't lived in Europe, but I spent many a year bouncing around Eastern Asia, and found this to be the case.