Bible challenge. your gonna love this..

NMSquirrel

NMSquirrel

OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12
Valued Senior Member
take two or more passages from the bible and make them say something funny..


Numbers 14:34
For forty years—one year for each of the forty days you explored the land—you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.'
Amos 5:19
It will be as though a man fled from a lion only to meet a bear, as though he entered his house and rested his hand on the wall only to have a snake bite him.


Its harder than it looks..this is the best i came up with..after i realized i can't create this topic without an example.(oops)
 
I cannot see what is funny about the two verses you have put together.


All Praise The Ancient Of Days
 
A fleeing Taliban desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water,
he hurried toward the object only to find
a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "No, I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie.
I need water!
I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not want
to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles,
you will find a lovely restaurant.
It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
As he collapsed at the feet of the old Jew, he gasped:

"Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"
 
Adstar said:
I cannot see what is funny about the two verses you have put together.

All Praise The Ancient Of Days
Click to expand...

yea..unfortunately i do not have the bible memorized,makes it more difficult to find what i want..thought it would be a challenge..started posting, then realized i needed an example..there are way more ppl more versed than me ..apperantly i'm no good at it..
:eek::bawl:

cosmic..
do you have anything more recent?
 
cosmictraveler said:
A fleeing Taliban desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water,
he hurried toward the object only to find
a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "No, I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
They are only $5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie.
I need water!
I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

"OK," said the Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not want
to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles,
you will find a lovely restaurant.
It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.
As he collapsed at the feet of the old Jew, he gasped:

"Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"
Click to expand...

When I was a kid, MANY years ago, I heard pretty much the same story/tale.. Actually heard it fron my late grandmother almost 40 years ago. Of course it wasn't the taliban back then.... But, I'm sure you get my drift.. Thanks for that, it made me smile. I haven't done so in a while.
Peace,
Gremmie.:)
 
I'm not going to retell her whole story... But basically, it was a nomad in the middle of the desert, he had travelled days... He was thisty.. He saw a merchant/vendor... He asked for water... The merchant said, I have no water to sell you, but I have sandals for sale... Nomad said, I only require water... The merchant said, oh, just walk another mile, my brother has water, all you can drink... Upon arrival, the nomad said, I need water, I will do anything for it.... Basically he was told, no sandals, no service.
Peace,
Gremmie.:cool:
 
`
hmmm...


Deuteronomy 2:2
And the Lord spake unto me, saying,
Romans 11:6
And if by grace, then is it no more of
works: otherwise grace is no more grace.
But if it be of works, then it is no more
grace: otherwise work is no more work.

:scratchin:
 
Killjoy said:
`
hmmm...


Deuteronomy 2:2
And the Lord spake unto me, saying,
Romans 11:6
And if by grace, then is it no more of
works: otherwise grace is no more grace.
But if it be of works, then it is no more
grace: otherwise work is no more work.

:scratchin:
Click to expand...
That gave me a "brain freeze" like drinking a slurpee too fast.:D
 
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