Beauty and the Ugly guy

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CutsieMarie89

Zen
Registered Senior Member
There were several studies done on people and their mates. Most people end up in long term relationships (marriage) with people who are equally attractive to them. When I first heard that I thought that's not true, but I went through most of the married couples I know and they are equally attractive. So really hot people tend to marry other really hot people and ugly people tend to marry other ugly people. Circumstantial marriages aside, like marrying for someone's money or because you were forced into a shotgun wedding stuff like that, do most people end up with people who are as attractive as they are? Is your partner just about as attractive as you are?
 
Really hot people tend to marry money...

But generally speaking, I read somewhere that judging beauty 0-10, most people end up within 2 points range of their own....
 
Well my "partner" is a cute little "hottie" so I guess I must be too.You take a look at her and tell me what you think if she's "hot" enough.

dolls5.jpg


I never have to worry about her leaving me either!;)
 
CutsieMarie89 said:
There were several studies done on people and their mates. Most people end up in long term relationships (marriage) with people who are equally attractive to them. When I first heard that I thought that's not true, but I went through most of the married couples I know and they are equally attractive. So really hot people tend to marry other really hot people and ugly people tend to marry other ugly people. Circumstantial marriages aside, like marrying for someone's money or because you were forced into a shotgun wedding stuff like that, do most people end up with people who are as attractive as they are? Is your partner just about as attractive as you are?
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There are obviously going to be variations from couple to couple, and in my experience women are more likely to settle "downwards" than men are, but I think this is true in general.
 
But what if looks aren't what's attractive to a person. I mean, looks are important, but it was 2nd on my list of what I liked about my husband when I met him.
 
I have seen people make that observation before, and I'm guessing there is some truth to it.

Orleander- Even if looks aren't the most important thing, they are still important enough to affect your relationships. Even if you don't really care about looks, society could affect your relationships.
 
True, a beautiful woman with an ugly guy and they always think "He must be rich"

I always think of Jessica Rabbit being asked why she was with Roger Rabbit and she said "He makes me laugh"
 
Looks are always the first thing that attracts me to a person perhaps it's because men are less attractive than me on some imaginary scale society has made up, I don't really find them all that appealing and thus am not attracted to them. Even if they would be considered very good looking by someone else, their just okay to me. I usually don't even considered less attractive men as potential partners. God I'm so stuck up.
 
Orleander said:
But what if looks aren't what's attractive to a person. I mean, looks are important, but it was 2nd on my list of what I liked about my husband when I met him.
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The problem as I see it is that the selection of a partner is not solely an intellectual excercise, but rather it's mostly an emotional (and chemical) one, and we are queued up to respond to certain things, looks being a major factor. No one ever tips the waitress 40% because "she seems smart."

I think quite often we unconsciously come up with rationales to justify decisions made on other bases and our memories change to fit the new narrative we prefer to believe. I have never met anyone who said "I date people who are about as attractive as me" as a goal, and yet it usually works that way.
 
Evo psych explanations have the capability to reduce some otherwise intelligent people to foaming lunatics. But they make perfect sense to me.

Across cultures, Buss found, mating behaviors are the same, and they all work toward the continuation of the genetic line. Women value status and resources because those give offspring the highest chance of survival. Men, on the other hand, seek women with certain physical features because they are outward signals of health and fertility. Men are more willing than women to have casual sex because that gives their genes the best chance to be passed on.....

.....Second, Buss’ theory undercuts some of the things we want to believe about our sexual relationships. “One likes to believe that someone values you or loves you for who you are, your personal qualities,” he said. “And so ... things like, from a male perspective, the notion that females place an importance on a man’s position, status, and resources, that can be a little bothersome. Or conversely, from a woman’s perspective, the fact that men value physical appearance so highly in their mate selection ... .

“There is a kind of harsh reality that resources and physical appearance do matter. And those sorts of findings contradict our romantic visions of how we would like mating to be.”
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http://www.culturesnob.com/2006/10/evolved-sexuality/

In Rolling Stone, Simon Lebon (for you youngsters, the lead singer for Duran Duran) was once asked "Why do rock stars date super models?" He laughed, and replied, "It's a bit like asking why dogs lick their balls isn't it? Because they can."

I've known girls that liked me, and were good people. But they weren't attractive to me. If I have no sexual attraction, then I can't fake it. I can have a great platonic relationship, but nothing more. I wish it didn't matter; I think it would be much easier to find someone that made you happy if you were basing your relationship strictly on compatibility.

I've also been rejected by women who, while thinking I was basically ok, couldn't deal with the fact that (at the time) I was working at a gas station. Men with low social status jobs have a much harder time in the dating pool. I've never known a man to give a damn about what the pretty woman he was chasing after did for a living.

Men want one thing, women want something else. It's amazing that it works as well as it does.
 
I think most guys are too chicken to approach pretty women, unless they themselves have been fawned over at some point.
 
Repo Man said:
I've also been rejected by women who, while thinking I was basically ok, couldn't deal with the fact that (at the time) I was working at a gas station. Men with low social status jobs have a much harder time in the dating pool. I've never known a man to give a damn about what the pretty woman he was chasing after did for a living.

Men want one thing, women want something else. It's amazing that it works as well as it does.
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Tis' true. I've considered ending the current relationship I'm in because I hate my boyfriend's job so much and he doesn't have much of an opinion on any of my three jobs.
 
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