And What Comes With It (Public Relations vs. Censorship)

[Tiassa]

So I'm sitting here fiddling around in the menus of EA Sports' Madden NFL '11, and once again I'm reminded of the curiously prudish outlook of American "family appeal".

The game soundtrack includes some "classic" themes composed and conducted by some guy who does a bunch of music for NFL archival productions, a couple of raps, and a bunch of hard rock. But here's the thing about that: It's censored, and ridiculously so. Now, I'm not going to make any bones about a "radio edit" of a song; one of my favorite bands has done it before, and they chose the subtle route of snuffing the vocals for a word instead of writing new lyrics. But that only goes so far. If there's only a word missing ("Don't ____ with a crazy man you say; I won't ____ with the man in control. The sky is burning, and my motor thunders.") it doesn't really stand out.

But in the game's recital of Guns 'n' Roses' classic "Welcome to the Jungle", the censorship is astounding: "And you're a very sexy ____ that's very hard to please." What? When was "girl" bad, and "sexy" not? "You know where you are? You're in the jungle, ____! You're gonna ____!"

What? Why? Really?

After a while, you start listening for what isn't there.

See, I always thought there was little else in the pop culture worse than "Christian" bands trying to be cool by singing "controversial" songs about the joys of abstinence and why you should love the Lord. But this is a step beyond.

I mean: Yeah, yeah. I get it. You want the tough appeal. You want the macho. Guns 'n' Roses is classic. Perfect for something like pro football. But the NFL is a family organization, right. Yeah, yeah, we see. So you don't want anything to tarnish that image, and, "You're in the jungle, baby! You're gonna die!" is too violent for a family organization.

But even more than EA Sports or the NFL, I want a piece of whatever douchebag green-lit this on behalf of the band's or publisher's interest.

If you want the grit that comes with rock and roll, the first thing you shouldn't try to do is clean it up.

• "Watch it bring you to your sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na knees, knees—I want to watch you (watch you, watch you)."

• "Welcome to the jungle; we take it day by day. If you want it you're gonna (gonna, gonna)—but that's the price you pay."

• "In the jungle—Welcome to the jungle. Feel my (feel my, feel my)—I wanna hear you (hear you, hear you)."​

It's just ridiculous. Embarrassing. Almost literally unbelievable.

 

[Fall Caesar]

Absolutely ridiculous. I think there should be no instances in which censorship should exist.

In fact, it should be perfectly okay to shout "FIRE!" in a crowded room, for sake that people overreact and need to learn how to think for themselves. Can you see flames? Can you see smoke? Do you smell anything? Is it hot here? What could ignite? Does the guy screaming fire look credible? Should I just get out of the building 'cause there's a lunatic in here anyways?

In terms of government, I'm not suggesting that military strategy be opened to the public, and such. It's that if an individual (*cough* Julian Assange) gets a hold of it somehow, he shouldn't be held accountable for security mistakes by the government. Secrets can still exist in a society without censorship.

I'm tempted to contact EA and scream at them.