All Hail B-tton (My Former Religious Affiliation)

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

Not so long ago (maybe 2 years), I followed a semi-theistic religion. The center of beliefs was:

God (the concept of the ancient God is much different, however, God was supposed to be more like the sun and the thing that makes us all tick, not a creator. however, he was also supposed to be a divine ruler) was on Earth, on an island in the Caspian off the coast of what is now Azerbaijan, to be more specific. When he saw a small dog, and how rough that dog's life was, he changed shapes into a dog himself. Ever since then, he has lived as a dog, changing dogs when one dog dies (whichever dog in the world is born as soon as the previous dog dies, or the closest birth afterwards)

Currently, he is living in the form of a Lhasa Poo in Ottawa. (oh, I forgot, God's name is Button, but for some strange reason I thought that was obvious...)

There is even a language called Buttonish with a script to accompany it for which I have compiled an online dictionary (in romanisation, all vowels sound as they would in Spanish, each word should be pronounced very flatly, J is pronounced as a Y), Buttonists claim that this language was given to them by Button before took on the body of a dog, they say it is evidenced in the sheer simplicity of the language and how easy it is to learn compared to others (I myself find this to be very true, it is in fact a very very simple language to learn).

You can find the Buttonish Dictionaryhere. It goes both ways between Buttonish and English.

I even acquired a Buttonish name, Kumo Munohuke, which corresponds to the meaning of my birth name (as do all Buttonish names)

Kumo Munohuke is written in the Buttonish script as:

 

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

Would anybody like to discuss this topic? Please? I was a little dissapointed when nobody replied

 

[Tyler]

Very cool story. If I may inquire - why did you believe this and who told you of it?

 

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

Originally posted by Tyler
Very cool story. If I may inquire - why did you believe this and who told you of it?

I believed it because this language really is very, very, simple, and I thought it must've been given to Buttonists by some sort of deity (Button fit well), there was also that Button did look divine (I've seen live video via webcam of him before, he's a cute little rascal!)

Also, that unlike most religions, you are supposed to be able to psychically contact Button at any time and converse with him about whatever. You didn't have to clasp your hands together, or look towards a certain direction, or close your eyes, you could just imagine that Button was walking towards you and putting his front paws on your hands. (of course you had to know what he looked like or mental contact would have to be established the first time the other way around)

Plus, it's more of a Pagan religion except there's only one god (err... I mean in the way that most Pagan religions are, they don't give all or even most of the power to a single god) and that made it easier to believe-- not endless miracles like Abrahamic religions...

 

[m0rl0ck]

I have some questions.
Is there communion? Or some kind of rememberance? What is used as a sacrement?
What are the ethical principles of buttonism?
Is button a jealous dog? (ie thou shalt worship no other dogs before him?)
Is buttonism sexist at all? (thou shalt not covet thy neighbors bitch nor his boneZ etc?)

 

[Tyler]

I have another question - what is a Buttonist stance on other religions?

 

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

Originally posted by m0rl0ck
I have some questions.
Is there communion? Or some kind of rememberance? What is used as a sacrement?
What are the ethical principles of buttonism?
Is button a jealous dog? (ie thou shalt worship no other dogs before him?)
Is buttonism sexist at all? (thou shalt not covet thy neighbors bitch nor his boneZ etc?)

There is no communion or sort of remembrance. There is no sacrement, one of the main facets of religion is that you should turn to Button for answers to your questions, so Button can provide you with all the information you need about holy shit etc. (via psychic connection. hmm, strange)

Ethical principles? Quite simple, treat others as you would have them treat you, and that if you see a poor man out begging, don't give him a 20, give him a 100. (that's not direct teachings, just more of an example there) Of course, when in doubt, turn to Button.

All Button has to say about worshipping other gods before him is: if you do not believe truly that Button is the most powerful god (preferably the only), you will not be reincarnated with the memories from your previous life intact. IE you will go on your quest for understanding from the beginning after you die instead of already having 1 lifetime's worth.

As for sexism-- no, women are not regarded as property and are treated quite neutrally in the religion.

And Tyler, I take it your question was already answered in this post?

 

[m0rl0ck]

Ethical principles? Quite simple, treat others as you would have them treat you

That sounds great.

and that if you see a poor man out begging, don't give him a 20, give him a 100.

Better and better. Any way I could get a membership directory, with addresses?

Another question: What is the buttonist stance on leg humping?
If I were a buttonist and someone tried to prevent me from exercising my dog given right to leg hump could I sue them for infringing on my rights to practice my religion?

 

[Squid Vicious]

One can only imagine what would happen to the Buttonites should Button be squished by an errant driver. Then the search would be on for Button's next reincarnation... Just imagine, eastern-looking guys in brown robes knocking on your door, and explaining that they think Rover is the next incarnation of Button, and could they please take him to Tibet for 7 years? They promise to avoid Thailand in case of... er... accidents... involving the local cuisine.

They could make a movie out of it starring Eddie Murphy and Lassie... "The Golden Pooch".

/me looks at my pet goldfish with a calculating expression on my face...
When in doubt, Envisage the Bowl... Trust in the Bowl, Goldy will guide you...

 

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

One can only imagine what would happen to the Buttonites should Button be squished by an errant driver.

If Button were to be squished by an errant driver, the search for his next incarnation would begin.

Then the search would be on for Button's next reincarnation... Just imagine, eastern-looking guys in brown robes knocking on your door, and explaining that they think Rover is the next incarnation of Button, and could they please take him to Tibet for 7 years? They promise to avoid Thailand in case of... er... accidents... involving the local cuisine.

Apparently there are supposed to be signs by which one can tell (after the previous incarnation dies) who's going to be the next pooch deity. I'm not sure exactly what these are, but apparently they exist. And generally since the dog is a newborn, nobody has to ask to take it, often people have just sold it or given it away.

Oh, and Button's always a guy.

They could make a movie out of it starring Eddie Murphy and Lassie... "The Golden Pooch".

Hahaha!

/me looks at my pet goldfish with a calculating expression on my face...
When in doubt, Envisage the Bowl... Trust in the Bowl, Goldy will guide you...

I really believed that I could psychically connect with Button. And he could guide me with his Divine Wisdom...

 

[Tyler]

Is there any known internet resources on this religion?

 

[GB-GIL Trans-global]

Originally posted by Tyler
Is there any known internet resources on this religion?

None that I know of besides my dictionary. Buttonists like to keep to themselves in a way, so they don't go around telling people about their religion or make websites. Its only online presence that I know of besides these forums and my dictionary is probably in chatrooms, e-mails, and messenger conversations (chatrooms=irc, others, no idea if there are any at all)