a biblical quiz thread, do you know your bible.

M

mustafhakofi

I sa'id so
Registered Senior Member
every couple of days I'll post a new quiz on this thread

as there is a lot on this forum about god and evil.

lets start with, God's Favorite Ways To Kill.
just post you answers
1, b 2,a etc. and I'll post the answers in a couple of days ok,
so here we go.
oh incidently we will give a point for a right answer, and we will see who
s the most knowledgeable on each subject.



1. Which of the following are among God’s methods of punishing those who break His commandments?

A. He strikes them with plagues, burning fevers that consume the eyes, pestilence, consumption, blasting, the sword and even mildew.
B. He strikes them with hemorrhoids, scabs, itching, madness and blindness.
C. He sends wild bears to devour their children.
D. Any of the above, depending on His mood.


2. How does God handle people who make Him jealous by having a religion different than ours?

A. Trick question. God is not vain.
B. He has them burned with fire, shot with arrows, eaten by beasts, bitten by venomous serpents, stabbed with swords and dashed to pieces with rods of iron-man, woman and child including infants, the aged and virgins.
C. He gently nudges them in the right direction.
D. None of the above.


3. How does God kill whiners?

A. What? God wouldn’t kill people just for complaining.
B. Fire.
C. Earthquakes.
D. Terminal illness.


4. How does God prefer to torture those who somehow become enemies of His chosen people?

A. He breaks their bones and pierces them with arrows.
B. He sends hornets to kill them.
C. He has them eat their own flesh and drink their own blood.
D. All of the above.


5. How does God kill those who vacation in Egypt?

A. Sword.
B. Famine.
C. Pestilence.
D. Take your pick.


6. How did God express his hatred toward people living in metropolitan Babylon?

A. By destroying their livestock.
B. By making the women barren.
C. By turning the men into drag queens.
D. All of the above.


7. When a community’s sins really make God mad, how does God find comfort?

A. By killing a third of the people with plagues and famine.
B. By killing a third of the people with local warfare.
C. By killing a third of the people with international warfare.
D. All of the above.

8. Whom does God slaughter when He gets jealous because a community is worshiping someone else?

A. The women.
B. The babies.
C. The unborn infants.
D. All of the above.

9. How does God punish promiscuous folks, like men who have sex with both their wives and mothers-in-law and daughters of priests who sleep around?

A. He has their genitals mutilated so they can sin no more.
B. He ensures their misdeeds result in unwanted pregnancy or venereal disease.
C. He has them burned with fire.
D. Any of the above.


10. In Jesus’ time, how did the Trinity deal with nonbelievers?

A. They had one eaten by worms.
B. They struck one bline.
C. A and B.
D. None of the above.


quiz two, 16 post down.
 
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Ok, let me see:

1. D. Depending on his moods.

2. B. He has them burned with fire, shot with arrows, eaten by beasts, bitten by venomous serpents, stabbed with swords and dashed to pieces with rods of iron-man, woman and child including infants, the aged and virgins.

3. No idea, probably all of them, but I will try D. Terminal illness

4. D. All of the above.

5. C. Pestilence.

6. B. By making the women barren.

7. D. All of the above.

8. D. All of the above.

9. D. Any of the above.

10. B. They struck one blind.
 
Please no NOT post one of these every few days. It's annoying clutter and doesn't stimulate any discussion whatsoever.
 
the erk why does it not, I sure if the everyone agrees with you then I sure musta will oblige.
anyway heres my answers 1,a 2,b 3,b 4,a 5,d 6,d 7,d 8,c 9,b 10,a

the erk it's only a little light entertainment.
 
audible said:
the erk why does it not, I sure if the everyone agrees with you then I sure musta will oblige.
anyway heres my answers 1,a 2,b 3,b 4,a 5,d 6,d 7,d 8,c 9,b 10,a

the erk it's only a little light entertainment.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I read it wrong and thought he said he was going to make a new THREAD each time, which could get sort of annoying, I'm sure you'll agree. I guess replying to the same thread over and over isn't as bad.

However, they do not stimulate discussion because the quizzes essentially troll Christians; they serve only to irritate them, not to ask them thought-provoking questions. It's the equivalent of "Hey, your God is stupid look at all this stupid stuff in the Bible", rather than something more constructive.
 
I don't know the answer.

But the message I got is that based on OT, I cannot rule out the choices which depict seemingly cruel, inhumane and even evil ways to remove somebody just because God don't like them.
 
mustafhakofi said:
every couple of days I'll post a new quiz on this thread

as there is a lot on this forum about god and evil.

lets start with, God's Favorite Ways To Kill.
just post you answers
1, b 2,a etc. and I'll post the answers in a couple of days ok,
so here we go.
oh incidently we will give a point for a right answer, and we will see who
s the most knowledgeable on each subject.



1. Which of the following are among God’s methods of punishing those who break His commandments?

A. He strikes them with plagues, burning fevers that consume the eyes, pestilence, consumption, blasting, the sword and even mildew.
B. He strikes them with hemorrhoids, scabs, itching, madness and blindness.
C. He sends wild bears to devour their children.
D. Any of the above, depending on His mood.


2. How does God handle people who make Him jealous by having a religion different than ours?

A. Trick question. God is not vain.
B. He has them burned with fire, shot with arrows, eaten by beasts, bitten by venomous serpents, stabbed with swords and dashed to pieces with rods of iron-man, woman and child including infants, the aged and virgins.
C. He gently nudges them in the right direction.
D. None of the above.


3. How does God kill whiners?

A. What? God wouldn’t kill people just for complaining.
B. Fire.
C. Earthquakes.
D. Terminal illness.


4. How does God prefer to torture those who somehow become enemies of His chosen people?

A. He breaks their bones and pierces them with arrows.
B. He sends hornets to kill them.
C. He has them eat their own flesh and drink their own blood.
D. All of the above.


5. How does God kill those who vacation in Egypt?

A. Sword.
B. Famine.
C. Pestilence.
D. Take your pick.


6. How did God express his hatred toward people living in metropolitan Babylon?

A. By destroying their livestock.
B. By making the women barren.
C. By turning the men into drag queens.
D. All of the above.


7. When a community’s sins really make God mad, how does God find comfort?

A. By killing a third of the people with plagues and famine.
B. By killing a third of the people with local warfare.
C. By killing a third of the people with international warfare.
D. All of the above.

8. Whom does God slaughter when He gets jealous because a community is worshiping someone else?

A. The women.
B. The babies.
C. The unborn infants.
D. All of the above.

9. How does God punish promiscuous folks, like men who have sex with both their wives and mothers-in-law and daughters of priests who sleep around?

A. He has their genitals mutilated so they can sin no more.
B. He ensures their misdeeds result in unwanted pregnancy or venereal disease.
C. He has them burned with fire.
D. Any of the above.


10. In Jesus’ time, how did the Trinity deal with nonbelievers?

A. They had one eaten by worms.
B. They struck one bline.
C. A and B.
D. None of the above.
Click to expand...
The answer to all your questions is "the wages of sin is death", which should make you tremble and not mock. But I already know your answer - you mock because you do not believe any of this. OTOH, if none of this is true then there is no God to mock is there?

Either God is real and you should be really really scared of Him, or there is no God and you have nothing to fear and your whole post is ludicrous (you are making a mockery of yourself either way).
 
melodicbard: I don't know the answer.

But the message I got is that based on OT, I cannot rule out the choices which depict seemingly cruel, inhumane and even evil ways to remove somebody just because God don't like them.
*************
M*W: The Dead Sea Scrolls is on tour at our local museum, and I was surprised to learn that the Dead Sea Scrolls were meant to be part of the OT -- NOT the NT! But, that would actually make sense, since the folks who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls didn't have a NT, although they may have known about Paul's writings which contradict what's in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
 
The answer to all your questions is "the wages of sin is death", which should make you tremble and not mock. But I already know your answer - you mock because you do not believe any of this. OTOH, if none of this is true then there is no God to mock is there?

Either God is real and you should be really really scared of Him, or there is no God and you have nothing to fear and your whole post is ludicrous (you are making a mockery of yourself either way).
Click to expand...

How about this, there is no god and this is mocking those who believe in him anyway.
 
Medicine Woman said:
melodicbard: I don't know the answer.

But the message I got is that based on OT, I cannot rule out the choices which depict seemingly cruel, inhumane and even evil ways to remove somebody just because God don't like them.
*************
M*W: The Dead Sea Scrolls is on tour at our local museum, and I was surprised to learn that the Dead Sea Scrolls were meant to be part of the OT -- NOT the NT! But, that would actually make sense, since the folks who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls didn't have a NT, although they may have known about Paul's writings which contradict what's in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Click to expand...
I don't think that's right. The Dead Sea Scrolls are not meant to be part of the OT, the Dead Sea Scrolls are the OT and Apocrypha (except for the book of Esther?) and are dated as pre-Jesus. There are also some Essene documents describing the life and times of this cult. There are no NT documents at all and nothing which sheds light on Jesus or Paul.

MW, are you from Houston?
 
David F.: I don't think that's right. The Dead Sea Scrolls are not meant to be part of the OT, the Dead Sea Scrolls are the OT and Apocrypha (except for the book of Esther?) and are dated as pre-Jesus.
*************
M*W: I'm not sure I understand what you meant in your comment. The exibit of the Dead Sea Scrolls were promoted as part of the OT, which of course, they never made it into the OT. What do you mean by "pre-Jesus?" From what I've read, some of these texts, I don't know which ones for sure, were written during Jesus' life and in his presence???
*************
David F.: There are also some Essene documents describing the life and times of this cult. There are no NT documents at all and nothing which sheds light on Jesus or Paul.
*************
M*W: I may be confusing the Dead Sea Scrolls with other findings in Cairo and Berlin of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene which speak of Jesus in the present tense, including words directly from Jesus.
*************
M*W: Yes, I'm a Houstonian.
 
1: D , 2: B , 3: D , 4: D , 5: B , 6: D , 7: A , 8: B , 9: D , 10: B.

How'd I do?!
 
her the answers to the first quiz


1,D “But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments…I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes…I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle” (Leviticus 26:14-22). “If thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe to do all his commandments…The Lord will smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish…The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart” (Deuteronomy 28:15-28).

2,B “They sacrificed unto devils, not to God; to gods whom they knew not, to new gods that came newly up...And he said...They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger...For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains. I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them. They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust. The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs” (Deuteronomy 32:17-25). “Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel” (Psalms 2:8).

3,B “And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the Lord burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp” (Numbers 11:1).

4,D “God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations of his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows” (Numbers 24:8). “Moreover the Lord thy God will send the hornet among them, until they that are left, and hide themselves from thee, be destroyed. Thou shalt not be affrighted at them: for the Lord thy God is among you, a mighty God and terrible” (Deuteronomy 7:20-21). “And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood” (Isaiah 49:26).

5,D “And now therefore hear the word of the Lord, ye remnant of Judah; Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; If you wholly set your faces to enter into Egypt, and go to sojourn there; Then it shall come to pass, that the sword, which ye feared, shall overtake you there in the land of Egypt, and the famine, whereof ye were afraid, shall follow close after you there in Egypt; and there ye shall die. So shall it be with all the men that set their faces to go into Egypt to sojourn there; they shall die by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence: and none of them shall remain or escape from the evil that I will bring upon them” (Jeremiah 42:15-17).

6,C “How is Babylon become a desolation among the nations. A sword is upon their horses, and upon their chariots, and upon all the mingled people that are in the midst of her; and they shall become as women: and sword is upon her treasures; and they shall be robbed” (Jeremiah 50:23, 37)

7,D “Wherefore, as I live, saith the Lord God; Surely, because thou hast defiled my sanctuary with all thy detestable things, and with all thine abominations, therefore will I also diminish thee; neither shall mine eye spare, neither will I have any pity. A third part of thee shall die with the pestilence, and with famine shall they be consumed in the midst of thee: and a third part shall fall by the sword round about thee; and I will scatter a third part into all the winds, and I will draw out a sword after them. Thus shall mine anger be accomplished, and I will cause my fury to rest upon them, and I will be comforted” (Ezekiel 5:11-13).

8,D “Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up” (Hosea 13:16).

9,C “And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you” (Leviticus 20:14). “And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire” (Leviticus 21:9).

10,C “And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost” (Acts 12:23). “But Elymas the sorcerer (for so is his name by interpretation) withstood them, seeking to turn away the deputy from the faith. Then Saul, (who also is called Paul,) filled with the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him. And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord? And now, behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thee, and thou shalt be blind, not seeing the sun for a season. And immediately there fell on him a mist and a darkness; and he went about seeking some to lead him by the hand” (Acts 13:8-11).


athelwulf: 3,5,6,7,8,9,10,wrong 1,2,4, right 3/10

fahrenheit: 451 all right 10/10 strange.

david f: all wrong, 0/10 even stranger.

audible: 1,4,6,8,9,10, wrong 2,3,5,7, right 4/10
 
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the bible and sex, quiz two.

1. If you retain the services of a prostitute, but are careless and
impregnate her, what should you do for her in return?

A. Nothing. Prostitution is a sin that makes the woman equally
culpable for the pregnancy.
B. Pay child support until the woman marries or the child reaches the
age of maturity, whichever comes earlier.
C. Kill the Godless whore! (particularly if you find out she’s a relative).
D. None of the above.

2. Were sex objects used in Biblical times?

A. They may have been, but that’s certainly not something we’d learn
from the Bible.
B. Yes. Women masturbated themselves with dildos made of gold and
silver.
C. No. People in Biblical times were aware only of sex with animate
objects, such as humans and animals.
D. None of the above.

3. Do Middle Eastern men have large “external appendages” and
great sexual prowess?

A.Whether they do or not, this is certainly not a subject the Bible
would dare address.
B. No. Differential size and performance is a media myth.
C. Yes. In fact, Egyptians have penises the size of a donkey’s and
ejaculations the volume of a horse’s.
D. Yes. Jews are really small.

4. How can sin (or anything else that irks God) affect your sex life?

A. Trick question. God doesn’t manipulate one’s sex life as a
punishment for sin.
B. Depending upon his anger, God may make you impotent.
C. While you won’t be impotent, you may lose the ability to produce
children.
D. God may simply have your neighbor rape your wife.

5. Are there times when prostitution is acceptable?

A. Yes. When the money raised is used to support needy Christians.
B. No. The Bible never refers to “acceptable” prostitution.
C. Yes. If the prostitute is providing “services” to a widower.
D. None of the above.

6. Whom does God order sinners to marry?

A. There is no answer to this question, for God never dictated whom
anyone should marry.
B. Whomever they fall in love with.
C. Christians, so the deviants may come to know God’s love.
D. Whores.

7. How does God feel about polygamy?

A. The Bible demands that each of us have one spouse only.
B. It’s OK for men.
C. Not only is it unacceptable for women, but any woman who has
more than one husband in her lifetime, notwithstanding
the bible sex quiz 1



divorce, is
an adulterer.
D. B and C only.

8. What should you do for your married mistress who bears your child
if an angry God decides to kill the baby?

A. For goodness sake, God would never kill an innocent baby, even if
He got mad at the baby’s parents.
B. Hold her, comfort her and make sure she knows you will always be
there for her, despite your marriage to another.
C. Rebuke her for angering the Lord (and for cheating on her husband
and causing you to cheat on your wife).
D. Just knock up your wife and quickly produce another offspring.

9. How does God punish whores (i.e., sexually active women)?

A. We’ll never know until Judgment Day.
B. He makes them barren.
C. He pulls up their skirts and exposes their nakedness, thereby
increasing their whoredom.
D. He strikes them with a plague and makes them hideously
unattractive so no man would ever engage their services again.

10. Before the days of notary publics, how did a man swear to a
statement?

A. Trick question. There have been notary publics since the inception
of the Jewish race.
B. They simply swore to God they were telling the truth.
C. They proclaimed that, if they were being dishonest, their wives
were fair game for other members of the community.
D. They simply grabbed another man’s genitals.
 
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