7 reasons Jesus was gay

Magical Realist

Magical Realist

Valued Senior Member
7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay



Jan. 16, 2013

By Ronnie Hafmerb



I truly believe that Jesus of Nazareth was not a straight man and there are plenty of facts to prove it. That’s right, the man who died for your sins may very well have been a homosexual.


1.The son of God, a man that had the power to surround himself with hundreds of women, chooses 12 men to hang out with. 12 MALE Apostles.

2.These 12 men all went by their full names. Nathaniel, Phillip, Andrew, Mathew, Thomas and so on. This is something that gay men are notorious for. If Judas was into vagina he would have gone by Jud. Mathew would have been Matt and Thomas would have been Tom.

3.His first miracle of turning water into wine. Please, wine?! A straight male would have made that shit a Bud Light and called it a day. But Jesus had class and taste, he converted that H2O into Sauvignon Blanc Jerusalem Valley 26 AD. Poof!

4.History states that he was a “craftsman” until the age of 30. Some say that this translates into a carpenter. But for the sake of my theory I am saying that a “craftsman” was really an interior designer.

5.He was 30 and not married and in those days people probably got married at 15.

6.He preached the importance of charity and loving one another. Powerful straight men start wars and pay for sex while their wives are at home with the kids.

7.Jesus had the power to do anything that he wanted. If this man were a heterosexual male, the wrecker of everything sacred, he would have created a machine gun or the stock market. But the son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, used his heavenly power to heal the sick and give vision to the blind.
 
Magical Realist said:
7 Reasons Jesus Was Gay



Jan. 16, 2013

By Ronnie Hafmerb



I truly believe that Jesus of Nazareth was not a straight man and there are plenty of facts to prove it. That’s right, the man who died for your sins may very well have been a homosexual.


1.The son of God, a man that had the power to surround himself with hundreds of women, chooses 12 men to hang out with. 12 MALE Apostles.

2.These 12 men all went by their full names. Nathaniel, Phillip, Andrew, Mathew, Thomas and so on. This is something that gay men are notorious for. If Judas was into vagina he would have gone by Jud. Mathew would have been Matt and Thomas would have been Tom.

3.His first miracle of turning water into wine. Please, wine?! A straight male would have made that shit a Bud Light and called it a day. But Jesus had class and taste, he converted that H2O into Sauvignon Blanc Jerusalem Valley 26 AD. Poof!

4.History states that he was a “craftsman” until the age of 30. Some say that this translates into a carpenter. But for the sake of my theory I am saying that a “craftsman” was really an interior designer.

5.He was 30 and not married and in those days people probably got married at 15.

6.He preached the importance of charity and loving one another. Powerful straight men start wars and pay for sex while their wives are at home with the kids.

7.Jesus had the power to do anything that he wanted. If this man were a heterosexual male, the wrecker of everything sacred, he would have created a machine gun or the stock market. But the son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, used his heavenly power to heal the sick and give vision to the blind.
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You are the optimum of stupidity, what do you gain by posting such garbage . Are you looking for notoriety ?
 
Your aspect on Jesus is what I would call stereo typing a person. You say because Jesus had 12 friends who were male made him gay? Would that also mean 24 players on a football field with all men make them all Gay players? . Men and women do have their type of social gathering. Men can relate and gather together. Women can relate and gather to together.

Some prefer to be around men others around women and to some both. To me it depends what I am doing and where I am at. Never the less not one is counted out if they fit the criteria.

Cause this again would be stereo typing. Lots of women today follow men’s sports. Baseball has been among one of them. Lots more women are playing some contact sports not as before not seen. But I can’t say to her you are a woman you better not do that. But she has trained herself to be fit to do so.

I am a man and don’t watch women’s sports. But I don’t protest them. And some of the most masculine do know how to do stuff like sewing and other projects. But I don’t respect them to be playing with doll houses.

But there is nothing wrong with being an interior designer for either man or women. It works and its well money.

You got to understand there is also Culture within what is taking place. In this culture it was common for men to have long hair but often times still with a mustache and beard.

But some of the cultures visited by Early Christian had short hair and shaved their faces cultural difference not female or male stereo accusations on that but when a man puts on a dress like a woman that to me is going to far.

Actually Thomas was named Didymus and Simon called Peter. Many of the disciples had other birth names called by another name which is very common of today.

Should we say Thomas Edison is Gay because he is not called Tom? But that is so untrue. Some people choose to not marry. We don’t understand this. But they are able to live this way. Jesus did not desire marriage and that for a great reason. If He claims to be the Son of God His interest only pertains to the Father who sent Him. So Jesus starting a family was not His mission. His Mission was to Save all mankind through his Death on the Cross. One then chooses whether they want to believe or not.

Jesus says these things in the Bible. There is no evidence Jesus had any affair with a man. No proof he was married.

Jesus is documented. He was also on the counting of census population in his days of the Roman Empire. In those days many denied Jesus claims. Today it is even the same. Back then yet many believed and today so many do believe.

Even though I am not a supporter of Buddha or of the prophet Mohammed of Islam I won’t call them Gay or anything else that is totally distorting the truth about these men of History. Let’s work more on Factual presentations. Let’s not assume and stereo type.
 
AcrossSkylight said:
Your aspect on Jesus is what I would call stereo typing a person.
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Stereotype is one word, not two. But you shouldn't take this so seriously, it's just a joke. Jesus may have been gay, we just don't know. We don't know much about him at all besides the Bible, which is mostly fiction.
 
I'm sure there was a Jesus that was gay. Jesus was a common name back then. Actually, Yeshua was the Aramaic form, and a cross-translation of the Greek form gave us the English version.
 
A group of men met at the Council of Nicea and decided what to include in the Bible and what to censor. We like to assume their decisions were perfect and 100% divinely inspired. However,… There’s a suppressed part of the Gospel of Mark quoted in a letter from Clement, Bishop of Alexandria, to Theodore, the priest of an early Christian community, c.95 AD, that goes like this:


"And thus they come into Bethany, and a certain, woman whose brother had died, was there. And coming she prostrated herself before Jesus and sayeth unto him, Son of David have mercy on me. But the disciples rebuked her.

And Jesus, being angered, went off with her into the garden where the tomb was, and straightway a great cry was heard from the tomb.

And going near, Jesus rolled away the stone from the door of the tomb. And straightway, going in where the youth was, he stretched forth his hand and raised him, seizing his hand.

But the youth, looking upon him, loved him and began to beseech him that he might be with him. And going out of the tomb they came into the house of the youth, for he was rich.

And after six days, Jesus told him what to do and in the evening the youth comes to him, wearing a linen cloth over nakedness. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God. And thence arising, he returned to the other side of the Jordan."

~ suppressed part of the Gospel according to Mark

http://mindprod.com/religion/wasjesusgay.html
 
spidergoat said:
So what's the gay part?
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"But the youth, looking upon him, loved him and began to beseech him that he might be with him. And going out of the tomb they came into the house of the youth, for he was rich.

And after six days, Jesus told him what to do and in the evening the youth comes to him, wearing a linen cloth over nakedness. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God. And thence arising, he returned to the other side of the Jordan."
 
Magical Realist said:
Yeah..like it was for the Nicean council who banned it. I take it erotic literature is not exactly your forte..
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You would have to show me some first. Ever heard of unnecessary censorship? It can make benign statements seem more titillating than they really are.
 
Wow. Someone actually took what was, at most, a satire seriously? That has to be the funniest part.
 
magical realist said:
3.his first miracle of turning water into wine. Please, wine?! A straight male would have made that shit a bud light and called it a day. But jesus had class and taste, he converted that h2o into sauvignon blanc jerusalem valley 26 ad. Poof!

4.history states that he was a “craftsman” until the age of 30. Some say that this translates into a carpenter. But for the sake of my theory i am saying that a “craftsman” was really an interior designer.
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lol :p
 
5025759083_gay_jesus_xlarge.jpeg
 
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Jesus may be a fictional character entirely. Since some of the first transcripts of the new testament were written in Greek, and ancient Greeks were reknowned for homosexuality that perhaps the Author was gay. An author might also use more formal titles especially when trying to portray a character with added respect. Perhaps the Apostles all called Jesus "Dude". It is unknown.

I'd suggest even exploring this topic seriously, must indicate Psychological Projection on behalf of magical realist.
Psychological Projection,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

We could test that.

@ Magical Realist,
Do you envision Santa Clause as a gay man?

Bud light? Light beer is your version of masculinity?

Now I have doubts of Jesus existence and Magicals heterosexuality.
 
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